Olafhenny

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The reason I joined this forum was to share experiences,
my own and those of others and to learn from them.

Olafhenny

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The reason I joined this forum was to share experiences,
my own and those of others and to learn from them.

Abnshrek

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

Abnshrek

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

Abnshrek

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

Abnshrek

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

Abnshrek

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

jbyrd88888

I have 3 hoes working for me now! Today I was introduced to a new hoe at a yard sale, wasn't too dirty so I brought home with me. $1 hoe can't beat that deal unless it was free! I've broke one in the past so I'm always lookin' for a back-up.



Also got my dawg a new pimp collar fo a dolla!

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■□■ J-Bert's Nana Grow Log ○●○
●○● UPDATED 6-21-2015 ■□■

Kat2

I laughed until I cried at Mr. Cocoa's utter astonishment that I'm now caught 3 (1 last night he pulled in and 2 tonight that I did solo) catfish using frozen KFC fried chicken--original recipe. "Don't tell me you're fishing with fried chicken! Cooked chicken?"

"I told you I was last night."

"Well, don't do it again."

"Um, okay."

What a shame! They seem to like it very much and I get to catch rather than just fish. (He does remove those prickly, slimy, whiskered creatures from the hook for me--perhaps that's why KFC is now verboten? )

I was hoping for some mullets to use as bait but he's had no success casting blind or otherwise these 2 nights and I wanted to fish so I improvised. I tried to buy chicken necks for my little basket crab trap but could only find pricey gizzards; no crabs yet but catfish also like those. Sadly my stash has migrated into the tundra just now hence the substitution of freezer burned wings and things.

Oh, and I caught a small conk in my net which I took back to the river. Next time red fish, shrimp and crabs--I wish.

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Abnshrek

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

Abnshrek

Instead of looking Happy this guy looks like he crapped his pants or something.. :^)

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I'm a Nannerhead :^)

bananimal

Story of the Outhouse


There was a little boy who lived in the country.

The family still used an outhouse and the little boy hated it because it was so hot in
the summer, freezing cold in the winter and smelled all the time.

The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy was determined that
one day he would push that old outhouse straight into the creek.

So, one day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen and the little boy decided today
was the day to push the outhouse into the creek.
He found a large pole and started pushing.
Finally, after much effort, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away.

That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper.

The boy knew that meant a spanking ... so he asked why.

The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today.
It was you, wasn't it son?"

The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school
today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble
because he told the truth ..."

The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father probably wasn't in the
cherry tree!"

Olafhenny

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The reason I joined this forum was to share experiences,
my own and those of others and to learn from them.

bananimal

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk.

The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he
has been drinking.

With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been
drinking all day, that his daughter got married in the morning
to a French man, and that he drank champagne and a few bottles
of wine at the reception and quite a few glasses of single malt there
after.

Quite upset, the policeman proceeds to alcotest (breath test) him
and asks the Englishman if he knows under French Law why he has
just been arrested.

The Englishman answers with humor: No, but do you know that
this is a British car and my wife is the driver... on the other side???

pmurphy

On the same note,

Designated Decoy

One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar and trip on the curb. Then he proceeded to fumble for his keys before trying to unlock a car, but the key would not work so he tried on the next car. The office watched as he did this on five different cars before he found his. The man then sat in the front seat and fumbled around with his keys for several minutes. The officer then watched as the man proceeded to roll down the driver's window, and roll it back up. He did this several times while the other patrons left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to slowly pull away. By now the police officer was waiting for him. As soon as he pulled onto the street, the officer stopped him, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test to determine his blood-alcohol content. The office was astonished to see the results showing a reading of 0.0 so he re-administered the test with the same results. The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be so the driver replied, “Tonight I’m the designated decoy.”

bananimal

Beetches 'till the End!


The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said,
'I've got some bad news.
You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting.

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'
After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis.
They were eventually approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that?'

'Because I don't want any of those beetches sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

bananimal

bananimal

Why Teachers Drink...

The following questions were in last year's GED examination. (These are genuine answers)


*Q. What is a turbine?*
*A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.*


*Q. How is dew formed.*
*A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.*


*Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on*
*A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.*


*Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?*
*A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.*


*Q. What are steroids?*
*A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs .*
*(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)*


*Q. What happens to your body as you age*
*A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.*


*Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?*
*A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.*


*Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.*
*A.. Premature death.*


*Q. What is artificial insemination?*
*A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.*


*Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?*
*A.. Keep it in the cow.*
*(Simple, but brilliant)*


*Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?*
*A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
(WTF!)


*Q. What is the fibula?*
*A.. A small lie.*


*Q. What does 'varicose' mean?*
*A.. Nearby.*


*Q. What is the most common form of birth control?*
*A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.*
*(That would work)*


*Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'*
*A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.*


*Q. What is a seizure?*
*A.. A Roman Emperor.?*
*(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)*



*Q. What is a terminal illness?*
*A. When you are sick at the airport.*
*(Irrefutable)*



*Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?*
*A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight*
*(brilliant)*


*Q. Name the four seasons*
*A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar*

bananimal

Plumber of the year finalists!

These pics are a hoot!

Dump A Day Funny Plumbers Of The Year Finalists - 31 Pics

Kat2

For all the ladies who drive alone

I had a flat tire on the 1- 40 yesterday; so, I pulled over, got out of the car and opened my trunk.

I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.

They look so lifelike! You wouldn't believe it!

Just as I had hoped, cars started slowing down looking at the men which made it much safer for me to work on the side of the road.

People honked and waved, and it wasn't long before a police car pulled up behind me.

He wanted to know what the heck I was doing, so I calmly explained that I was changing my flat.

He told me he could see that, but demanded to know what the heck the naked cardboard men were doing standing at the rear of my car.

I couldn't believe he didn't know!

So I told him ....

"Well", I explained to the angry policeman ....

"They're my Emergency Flashers!!!!"

I go to court in August.

(Damn Police. No sense of humor.)

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