Re: What Cracked up you up Today?
Why Teachers Drink...
The following questions were in last year's GED examination. (These are genuine answers)
*Q. What is a turbine?*
*A.. Something an Arab or Sheik wears on his head. Once an Arab boy reaches puberty, he removes his diaper and wraps it around his head.*
*Q. How is dew formed.*
*A. The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.*
*Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on*
*A.. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed.*
*Q. In a democratic society, how important are elections?*
*A.. Very important. Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.*
*Q. What are steroids?*
*A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs .*
*(Shoot yourself now, there is little hope)*
*Q. What happens to your body as you age*
*A.. When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.*
*Q. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?*
*A.. He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.*
*Q. Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.*
*A.. Premature death.*
*Q. What is artificial insemination?*
*A.. When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.*
*Q. How can you delay milk turning sour?*
*A.. Keep it in the cow.*
*(Simple, but brilliant)*
*Q. How are the main 20 parts of the body categorized (e.g. The abdomen)?*
*A.. The body is consisted into 3 parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels: A,E,I,O,U
(WTF!)
*Q. What is the fibula?*
*A.. A small lie.*
*Q. What does 'varicose' mean?*
*A.. Nearby.*
*Q. What is the most common form of birth control?*
*A.. Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.*
*(That would work)*
*Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'*
*A.. The caesarean section is a district in Rome.*
*Q. What is a seizure?*
*A.. A Roman Emperor.?*
*(Julius Seizure, I came, I saw, I had a fit)*
*Q. What is a terminal illness?*
*A. When you are sick at the airport.*
*(Irrefutable)*
*Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?*
*A.. Benign is what you will be after you be eight*
*(brilliant)*
*Q. Name the four seasons*
*A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar*
|