island cassie

saltydad

A very tired nurse walks into a bank,
Totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift.
Preparing to write a check,
She pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse
And tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake,
She looks at the flabbergasted teller
And without missing a beat, she says:
'Well, that's great....that's just great....
Some *******'s got my pen!'

__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men"

"Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon





"If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal."
John F. Kennedy, September, 1960


http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and
http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad
http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

buzzwinder

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a
well. The animal cried piteously for hours as
the farmer tried to figure out what to do.
Finally he decided that the donkey was old,
the well needed to be filled in anyway, so
it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and
help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began
to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the
donkey realized what was happening and cried
horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he
quieted down.

A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally
looked down the well. He was astonished at what
he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his
back, the donkey was doing something amazing.
He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel
dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it
off and take a step up.

Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey
stepped up over the edge of the well and
happily trotted off!
*****
Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds
of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well
is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of
our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out
of the deepest wells just by not stopping,
never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:

Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.

Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.

Live simply and appreciate what you have.

Give more.

Expect less

NOW .......

Enough of that crap. The donkey later came back,
and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him.
The gash from the bite got infected and
the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.



MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:

When you do something wrong, and try to cover
your ass, it always comes back to bite you.

__________________


Bill for my friend

justjoan

I have to share, my son and his family were here this weekend from Anchorage AK and my 5 year old grandaughter had to share a joke with me so I told her I would tell you folks.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?

Because he didn't peel well. Have a great day!

__________________



Friends are the siblings God never gave you

Patty in Wisc

Hey Joan, nice avatar!!

__________________
Got a lite?
Patty




____
Patty in Wisc has sadly passed away 9/05/11. We will miss you Patty.

Jack Daw

Well, it's time that I finally share somethin' from my very large photobook, enjoy people.



One of the VIP series in Central Europe.


Actually Stella Artois isn't that good


I love his smile...


Killed nana.


Yeah, nature





also this one, labelled as 'I love USA, especially San Francisco':


Black sheep of the family?



And FINALLY, for Ante and other technicians like me:

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Jack Daw

My favourite part of this video is Hello joke , time index 4:57. I actually use it when someone calls with private number and after I answer I find out it's someone I wouldn't like to talk to right now :

There are also 2 interesting videos to watch, neither Dutch (talking about handicaps created during medical surgeries) nor German is needed to understand... Enjoy






Also T-Dawg

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Jack Daw

And now for some better Family Guy scenes (yeah I know, some of them are silly, but once you go beyind that offensive layer, it's quite funny...):


This one's actually good



I love this Italian speaking



How the Star Wars began....



Frog Prince:



What a show:

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Chironex

92 yr old man sat on bench crying his eyes out.

"What's wrong with you old man?" a passer by asks.

"It's my 22 yr old girlfriend, she wants sex twice before breakfast, once before lunch, twice after dinner and twice again before we sleep!"

"So what's the problem?" the passer by asks.

The old man replies "I can't remember where I live.............."

__________________
Scot

Jack Daw

And the nonsense goes on...

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Jack Daw

If those pics annoy you instead of make some fun, PM me.

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

saltydad

Best damned dog story I ever heard


> >
> >
Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they strike up a conversation.>>


The black Lab turns to the chocolate Lab and says, "So why are you here?">>

The Chocolate Lab replies, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed." >>
The black Lab says, "So what is the vet going to do?""Gonna cut my nuts off," comes the reply from the chocolate Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down." >>
The black Lab then turns to the yellow lab and asks, "Why are you here?" >>
The yellow Lab says, "I'm a digger I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners couch.""So what are they going to do to you?" the black Lab inquires."Looks like I'm losing my nuts too, the dejected yellow Lab says. >>
The yellow Lab then turns to the black Lab and asks, "Why are you here?""I'm a humper," the black Lab says. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, whatever. I want to hump everything I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes. I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away"The yellow and chocolate Labs exchange a sad glance and says, "So, nuts off for you too, huh?"The black Lab says ...."No, I'm here to get my nails clipped.">>

__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men"

"Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon





"If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal."
John F. Kennedy, September, 1960


http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and
http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad
http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

MediaHound

Never really ventured into this thread till now but its not fair to some who had their content removed due to breach of the rules, and allow this thread to remain.
Hate to do it but the thread is now locked. Please refrain from posting adult-only content, or anything else really that could be considered obscene. Even with disclaimers in the title. I know this decision will be questioned by some and it might not seem like a lot of fun to live with but overall we need to draw a line somewhere and enforce the rules we have had since inception.

__________________
Apologies in advance if I am slow to reply to your PM. I suggest posting in the forums for support if you need something urgent.