Adults Only Humor - Page 4

buzzwinder · 05-19-2009, 09:18 AM

A man stranded on a tropical island is amazed to see a gorgeous female scuba diver walking out of the water in a very low-cut wet suit. He runs to greet her and tells her he hasn't seen another human in five years. "Sounds like you could use a drink," she says as she unzips one of her pockets and offers the man a flask of 12 year old Scotch. "That's the best drink I've ever had!" he exclaims. "Would you like a smoke?" she asks as she unzips another pocket on her suit and offers the man a Cuban cigar. "This must be the best cigar in the world!" he shouts as he blows smoke rings in the air. As she begins to unzip the front of her wet suit, she asks with a wry smile, "Would you like to play around?" "Wow, you got golf clubs in there, too!?"

buzzwinder · 05-19-2009, 09:25 AM

A little more Golf humor.

A lady and some of her friends were out golfing at the local Country Club. While out on the course a Bee lands on her and stings her. After finishing their round of golf the lady goes to the Pro Shop and tells them about the Bee. The golf Pro asks her where she was bit, and she says it was between the 1st and 2nd hole. The Pro says well I know what your problem is "your stance is to wide."

Tog Tan · 05-19-2009, 09:27 AM

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family..

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell! , hoping to make a sale.

Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''

"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."

"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?"

"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"

"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"

"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."

"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "! This was done on the top of a bus," he said.

"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with."

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."

"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um.. Equipment?"

"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."

"Tripod?"

"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."

At that point, Mrs. Smith fainted.

StarTrek · 05-27-2009, 06:10 AM

A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are you doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier". The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.

saltydad · 05-27-2009, 05:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chong

I got a message that the video is no longer available. Did you download it?

This should work.

YouTube - richard simmons on whose line

ron_mcb · 05-27-2009, 06:20 PM

this is so ridiculous,its roll on the floor funny!!!

YouTube - The Whitest Kids You Know - Cubicle Boss

john_ny · 05-27-2009, 08:13 PM

ron - you changed your screen name?

ron_mcb · 05-28-2009, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by john_ny

ron - you changed your screen name?

well its condensed

Scuba_Dave · 05-28-2009, 06:53 PM

I dialed a number and got the following recording:

'I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call
I am making some changes in my life
Please leave a message after the Beep
If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blessed are those who can give without remembering
And take without forgetting..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way
around you're not going anywhere. ( this one is me)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think
Of an answer for her first question.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was always taught to respect my elders,
But it keeps getting harder to find one.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every morning is the dawn of a new error

chong · 05-29-2009, 12:34 AM

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.

The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.’

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,

'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'

Bob's funeral will be on Friday.

Chironex · 05-29-2009, 01:50 AM

OMG, how hilarious!!!!

buzzwinder · 05-29-2009, 08:21 AM

An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always
wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought
them and wore them home.

Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice
anything different about me?'

Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'

Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked
back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked
Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'

Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's
hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again
tomorrow!'

Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN,
MARGARET?'

'Nope', she replied

'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'
Without changing her expression,

Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.

Patty in Wisc · 05-29-2009, 11:55 PM

Undies

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them.
Mum said: "YOU should say NO-they only want to look at your undies".
Susie said: "I know they do that's why I hide them in my backpack"!!

ron_mcb · 05-30-2009, 11:34 AM

just about how every bureaucratic system in the world works

YouTube - Mr Show Change for a Dollar

Patty in Wisc · 05-31-2009, 12:04 AM

Hey Ron, what is your avatar? I'm sure it's my 'puter cuz some one elses avatar is the same --pure black - no pic. I see all other pics just fine except for 2-3 ppls avatars which are blacked out. Anyone else see this?

ron_mcb · 05-31-2009, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Patty in Wisc

Hey Ron, what is your avatar? I'm sure it's my 'puter cuz some one elses avatar is the same --pure black - no pic. I see all other pics just fine except for 2-3 ppls avatars which are blacked out. Anyone else see this?

well you could adjust the color,and contrast but you wont get any true definition. its meant to be a silhouette.

john_ny · 05-31-2009, 04:39 PM

Patty - I've got the same thing. Ron and Gabe's avatars are black. I'm sure it's my monitor, because when I print them, they're fine. If I lighten them first, so they look OK on the monitor, and then print them, the print is all washed out. Tried to adjust the monitor, and we got it a little better, but thsoe two, and a few other of the darkest, are still black.

chong · 06-02-2009, 03:37 PM

Bet this'll put a smile on your faces!

YouTube - Hi there curly is your mom home

saltydad · 06-02-2009, 05:38 PM

Love it!

Tog Tan · 06-04-2009, 12:23 PM

Lovemaking tips for Seniors

1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed.

2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle.

3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!)

4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin.

5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember.

6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed.

7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act.

8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too.

9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news.

10. Don't even think about trying it twice.

(I wrote this in large and bold type so you can read it)

05-19-2009, 09:18 AM	#61 (permalink)
buzzwinder buzzwinder's Photo Gallery Location: Loves Park, Il. Find me on the map! Zone: 5 Name: Bill Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 871 BananaBucks : 18,308 Feedback: 3 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,043 Times Was Thanked 846 Times in 354 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 1,155 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor A man stranded on a tropical island is amazed to see a gorgeous female scuba diver walking out of the water in a very low-cut wet suit. He runs to greet her and tells her he hasn't seen another human in five years. "Sounds like you could use a drink," she says as she unzips one of her pockets and offers the man a flask of 12 year old Scotch. "That's the best drink I've ever had!" he exclaims. "Would you like a smoke?" she asks as she unzips another pocket on her suit and offers the man a Cuban cigar. "This must be the best cigar in the world!" he shouts as he blows smoke rings in the air. As she begins to unzip the front of her wet suit, she asks with a wry smile, "Would you like to play around?" "Wow, you got golf clubs in there, too!?" __________________ Bill for my friend

05-19-2009, 09:25 AM	#62 (permalink)
buzzwinder buzzwinder's Photo Gallery Location: Loves Park, Il. Find me on the map! Zone: 5 Name: Bill Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 871 BananaBucks : 18,308 Feedback: 3 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,043 Times Was Thanked 846 Times in 354 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 1,155 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor A little more Golf humor. A lady and some of her friends were out golfing at the local Country Club. While out on the course a Bee lands on her and stings her. After finishing their round of golf the lady goes to the Pro Shop and tells them about the Bee. The golf Pro asks her where she was bit, and she says it was between the 1st and 2nd hole. The Pro says well I know what your problem is "your stance is to wide." __________________ Bill for my friend

05-19-2009, 09:27 AM	#63 (permalink)
Tog Tan Ensete nut Tog Tan's Photo Gallery Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Name: Tog Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,757 BananaBucks : 504,508 Feedback: 2 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,011 Times Was Thanked 2,724 Times in 787 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 204 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell! , hoping to make a sale. Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...'' "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my speciality?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat" After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "! This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider her mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, um.. Equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." At that point, Mrs. Smith fainted. __________________ ____ Tog Tan has sadly suddenly passed away 6/16/09. We will miss you Tog Tan.

05-27-2009, 06:10 AM	#64 (permalink)
StarTrek Ava &amp;amp;amp;amp;amp; Smilie Artist Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 9 BananaBucks : 4,470 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 0 Times Was Thanked 20 Times in 5 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 0 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor A man and his wife got into bed for the night. The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading, he stopped and reached over to his wife and started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very short while then stopped and went back to reading his book. The wife got up and started stripping in front of him. The husband was confused and asked, "What the hell are you doing, taking all your jammies off?" The wife replied, "You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for something a bit heavier". The husband said, "Hell no! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages. __________________ Beam this message up, Scotty!

05-27-2009, 08:13 PM	#67 (permalink)
john_ny Member john_ny's Photo Gallery Location: Staten Island, NY - southernmost county in NY State. Find me on the map! Zone: USDA7- Sunset34 Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 2,014 BananaBucks : 937,988 Feedback: 5 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,057 Times Was Thanked 2,284 Times in 832 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 37 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor ron - you changed your screen name? __________________ John

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05-28-2009, 06:53 PM	#69 (permalink)
Scuba_Dave Location: South of Boston, MA Find me on the map! Zone: 6-7 Name: Dave Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 732 BananaBucks : 101,471 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 501 Times Was Thanked 1,218 Times in 451 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 2,414 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor I dialed a number and got the following recording: 'I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call I am making some changes in my life Please leave a message after the Beep If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes.' ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My wife and I had words, But I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering And take without forgetting.. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time You're old enough to know your way around you're not going anywhere. ( this one is me) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ God made man before woman so as to give him time to think Of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, But it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error

05-29-2009, 12:34 AM	#70 (permalink)
chong Senior Member chong's Photo Gallery Location: Seattle, WA Find me on the map! Zone: 8-9 Name: Chong Join Date: Nov 2006 Posts: 1,851 BananaBucks : 124,513 Feedback: 6 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,309 Times Was Thanked 1,702 Times in 759 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 991 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?' His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. 'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league.’ When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?' 'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.' A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says, 'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?' Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it . She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, 'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.' Bob's funeral will be on Friday.

05-29-2009, 01:50 AM	#71 (permalink)
Chironex The causasian Asian! Chironex's Photo Gallery Location: Jakarta, Indonesia Find me on the map! Zone: I have no idea Name: Scot Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 2,788 BananaBucks : 183,785 Feedback: 9 / 100% Said "Thanks" 4,544 Times Was Thanked 1,406 Times in 808 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 609 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor OMG, how hilarious!!!! __________________ Scot

05-29-2009, 08:21 AM	#72 (permalink)
buzzwinder buzzwinder's Photo Gallery Location: Loves Park, Il. Find me on the map! Zone: 5 Name: Bill Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 871 BananaBucks : 18,308 Feedback: 3 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,043 Times Was Thanked 846 Times in 354 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 1,155 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas . Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?' Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.' Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?' Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!' Furious, Bert yelled, 'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?' 'Nope', she replied 'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!' Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, 'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat. __________________ Bill for my friend

05-29-2009, 11:55 PM	#73 (permalink)
Patty in Wisc tropical nut Patty in Wisc's Photo Gallery Zone: 5 Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 3,115 BananaBucks : 432,052 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 2,946 Times Was Thanked 2,510 Times in 1,203 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 69 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor Undies Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said: "YOU should say NO-they only want to look at your undies". Susie said: "I know they do that's why I hide them in my backpack"!! __________________ Got a lite? Patty ____ Patty in Wisc has sadly passed away 9/05/11. We will miss you Patty.

05-31-2009, 12:04 AM	#75 (permalink)
Patty in Wisc tropical nut Patty in Wisc's Photo Gallery Zone: 5 Join Date: Sep 2006 Posts: 3,115 BananaBucks : 432,052 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 2,946 Times Was Thanked 2,510 Times in 1,203 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 69 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor Hey Ron, what is your avatar? I'm sure it's my 'puter cuz some one elses avatar is the same --pure black - no pic. I see all other pics just fine except for 2-3 ppls avatars which are blacked out. Anyone else see this? __________________ Got a lite? Patty ____ Patty in Wisc has sadly passed away 9/05/11. We will miss you Patty.

05-31-2009, 04:39 PM	#77 (permalink)
john_ny Member john_ny's Photo Gallery Location: Staten Island, NY - southernmost county in NY State. Find me on the map! Zone: USDA7- Sunset34 Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 2,014 BananaBucks : 937,988 Feedback: 5 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,057 Times Was Thanked 2,284 Times in 832 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 37 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor Patty - I've got the same thing. Ron and Gabe's avatars are black. I'm sure it's my monitor, because when I print them, they're fine. If I lighten them first, so they look OK on the monitor, and then print them, the print is all washed out. Tried to adjust the monitor, and we got it a little better, but thsoe two, and a few other of the darkest, are still black. __________________ John

06-02-2009, 05:38 PM	#79 (permalink)
saltydad saltydad's Photo Gallery Location: Silver Spring, Maryland USA Find me on the map! Zone: 7a Name: Howard Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 4,552 BananaBucks : 306,802 Feedback: 2 / 100% Said "Thanks" 14,712 Times Was Thanked 4,662 Times in 1,778 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 824 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor Love it! __________________ Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

06-04-2009, 12:23 PM	#80 (permalink)
Tog Tan Ensete nut Tog Tan's Photo Gallery Location: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia Name: Tog Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,757 BananaBucks : 504,508 Feedback: 2 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,011 Times Was Thanked 2,724 Times in 787 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 204 Times	Re: Adults Only Humor Lovemaking tips for Seniors 1. Wear your glasses. Make sure your partner is actually in the bed. 2. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. 3. Set the mood with lighting. (Turn them ALL OFF!) 4. Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. 5. Write partner's name on your hand in case you can't remember. 6. Keep the polygrip close by so your teeth don't end up under the bed. 7. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act. 8. Make all the noise you want. The neighbors are deaf too. 9. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news. 10. Don't even think about trying it twice. (I wrote this in large and bold type so you can read it) __________________ ____ Tog Tan has sadly suddenly passed away 6/16/09. We will miss you Tog Tan.

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