NotherNana

Here's the Senior bumper stickers:

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www.ginodiavonti.com/text/sculpture.html

Patty in Wisc

That looks like a lot of work Gino. Only way I'd be able to do that is to load every pic in photobucket & put them here individually. whooo
I promise not to take a sleeping pill & Exlax on same night

__________________
Got a lite?
Patty




____
Patty in Wisc has sadly passed away 9/05/11. We will miss you Patty.

Jack Daw

LOL. I especially like the "retired" version. So true.

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Jack Daw

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

buzzwinder

The wonderful IRS! With tax season approaching I thought you all might appreciate this. Keep it in mind while doing your taxes. At the end of the tax year, the IRS office sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the IRS agent was checking the books he turned to the CFO of the hospital and said, "I notice you buy a lot of bandages. What do you do with the end of the roll when there's too little left to be of any use?""Good question," noted the CFO. "We save them up and send them back to the bandage company and every now and then they send us a free box of bandages.""Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way."What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what's left over after setting a cast on a patient?""Ah, yes," replied the CFO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every now and then they send us a free package of plaster." "I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CFO. "Well," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?""Here, too, we do not waste," answered the CFO. "What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS Office, and about once a year they send us a complete dick."

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Bill for my friend

Jack Daw

I don't know if this is a joke or whether it really is dumb, but nonetheless:

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

saltydad

Minnesota man pleads guilty to driving motorized La-Z-Boy under the influence

A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk.

A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.

Prosecutors say Anderson's blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.

Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.

Sixth Judicial District Judge Heather Sweetland stayed 180 days of jail time Monday and ordered two years of probation for Anderson. His attorney, David Keegan, did not immediately return a call for comment.

__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men"

"Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon





"If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal."
John F. Kennedy, September, 1960


http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and
http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad
http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

saltydad

Ever wonder in your relationship, how 'the fight' started...: a little
humor for a change



~~~~~~~~~~

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift.

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed.

I turned to her and said,

'Do you want to have Sex?'

'No,'

she answered.

I then said,

'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said,

'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said,

'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and
she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at
a nearby table. I asked her, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend... I understand he took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he
hasn't been sober since.'

'My'! I said, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'

And then the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

I rear-ended a car this morning...So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things
just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,

'I AM NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said,

'Well, then which one are you?'

And then the fight started...

~~~~~~~~~~

When our lawn mower broke, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get
it fixed.

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the
truck, the car, playing golf. Always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched
silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only
a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
driveway.'

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men"

"Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon





"If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal."
John F. Kennedy, September, 1960


http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and
http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad
http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

saltydad

YouTube parody of the YouTube Hitler parodies. Some adult language.

__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men"

"Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon





"If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal."
John F. Kennedy, September, 1960


http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and
http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad
http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

Jananas Bananas

Got this in an email this morning and thought it was pretty good!

Things you should know about Texas




Armadillos sleep on the side of the road with their feet in the air.

Twiced' is a word.

'Fixinto' is one word.

You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them.

There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and
4,998 live in Texas

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas , plus a
couple no one's seen before.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

People actually grow and eat okra

There is no such thing as 'lunch...' There is only dinner and then supper.

Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when
you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar!

'Backwards and forwards' means I know everything about you!

Djeet is actually a phrase meaning 'Did you eat?'

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it
is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You measure distance in hours. Like its 6 hours from Houston to Dallas .

You'll probably have to switch from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day.

'Fix' is a verb. Example: 'I'm fixing to go to the store.'

You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.

Yes, Friday night high school football is serious football!

You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car...

There are only four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup.

100 degrees Fahrenheit is 'a little warm.'

We have four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' to Wally-World.'

A cool snap (below 70 degrees) is good pinto-bean weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . . . it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor. Example: 'What kind a coke you want?'

Fried catfish is the other white meat.

We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can
drive, we can drive.

If you understand these jokes please forward them to your friends from
Texas (and those who just wish they were).

EVERYONE can't be from Texas. You might say it's a gift from God!

And the most important thing we learn growing up in TEXAS is... IN GOD WE
TRUST

~JaNan

__________________
Jananas Bananas

alexizhere19

So texas steals another southern joke and calls it their own. Hey whatever makes texas feel like their relevant.

__________________




woo woo woo in the county jail

just a good ole boy never meanin no harm

saltydad

This video caused me to roar (after my jaw came back up). Caution- over 21 only.

__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men"

"Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon





"If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal."
John F. Kennedy, September, 1960


http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and
http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad
http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/

Jack Daw

Althoug this would be a candidate for a dumb joke (and a puke joke as well), I'm afraid it's not a joke after all.

SPOILER -REALLY DISGUSTING, DON'T READ IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH!!! IT'S NOT A JOKE, ALTHOUGH IT LOOKS LIKE ONE REALLY DUMB!

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Patty in Wisc

Not funny Jack. This thread is for JOKES!

__________________
Got a lite?
Patty




____
Patty in Wisc has sadly passed away 9/05/11. We will miss you Patty.

The Hollyberry Lady

Jack Daw

I did some corrections.

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Scuba_Dave

Information about Gonorrhea Lectim

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of this old disease. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim. It's pronounced "Gonna re-elect 'em," and it is a terrible obamanation.

The disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior involving putting your cranium up your rectum. Many victims contracted it in 2008...but now most people, after having been infected for the past 1-2 years, are starting to realize how destructive this sickness is.

It's sad because Gonorrhea Lectim is easily cured with a new drug just coming on the market called Votemout. You take the first dose in 2010 and the second dose in 2012 and simply don't engage in such behavior again; otherwise, it could become permanent and eventually wipe out all life as we know it.

Several states are already on top of this, like Virginia and New Jersey , and apparently now Massachusetts , with many more seeing the writing on the wall.

Please pass this important message on to all those bright folk you really care about.

Jack Daw

Well, this is for a longer, philosophical debate, but I think that many people don't mean this as a joke, but as a very real thing. Besides, Obama wanted Change. That's precisely what he's giving you now.
Every culture has to go through socialization, sooner, or later. What I like the most is that you, Americans, hating Russians for almost a century, are now going there and take advice regarding policies, pacts, laws ... almost every month. Funny.

__________________
Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received.



Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs)

Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs)

Scuba_Dave

john_ny

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__________________
John