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#601 (permalink) |
![]() Location: Silver Spring, Maryland USA
Zone: 7a
Name: Howard
Join Date: Sep 2007
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Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England. In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York.
This would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico. But as we know, the great ship did not make it to New York. The ship hit an iceberg and sank, and the cargo was forever lost. The people of Mexico, who were crazy about mayonnaise, and were eagerly awaiting its delivery, were disconsolate at the loss. Their anguish was so great, that they declared a National Day of Mourning, which they still observe to this day. The National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known, of course, as Sinko de Mayo.
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Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon ![]() "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/
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#602 (permalink) |
![]() Location: Dominican Republic
Zone: 11+ I guess
Name: Island Cassie
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Howard - Oh dear!!!
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#603 (permalink) |
![]() Location: Silver Spring, Maryland USA
Zone: 7a
Name: Howard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,527
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Feedback: 2 / 100%
Said "Thanks" 14,616 Times
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Thanked 4,504 Times in 1,744 Posts
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A married Irish man went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.'
The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irish man said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing is the same as putting it in. You're not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary's and put $50 in the poor box.' The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave. The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, 'I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!' The Irishman replied, 'Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!'
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Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon ![]() "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/
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#604 (permalink) |
![]() Location: Silver Spring, Maryland USA
Zone: 7a
Name: Howard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,527
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Feedback: 2 / 100%
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A girl asks her boyfriend to come on Friday night to meet and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner she would like to go out and make love for the first time. The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, " I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." ba dum bum
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Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon ![]() "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/
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#605 (permalink) |
![]() Location: Silver Spring, Maryland USA
Zone: 7a
Name: Howard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,527
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What do you call an Amish guy with his hand up a horse’s ass?
A mechanic.
__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon ![]() "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/
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#606 (permalink) |
![]() Location: Silver Spring, Maryland USA
Zone: 7a
Name: Howard
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 4,527
BananaBucks
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Feedback: 2 / 100%
Said "Thanks" 14,616 Times
Was
Thanked 4,504 Times in 1,744 Posts
Said "Welcome to Bananas" 823 Times
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__________________
Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon ![]() "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/
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#607 (permalink) |
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Member
![]() Location: Staten Island, NY - southernmost county in NY State.
Zone: USDA7- Sunset34
Join Date: Jun 2007
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Howie - You always come up with some good ones! Keep 'em coming.
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