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06-01-2010, 01:28 PM | #521 (permalink) |
tropical nut
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Re: Dumb Jokes
He didn't like the casserole
And he didn't like my cake, He said my biscuits were too hard Not like his mother used to make. I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew, I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. Then I turned around and Smacked the sh*t out of him.. Like his mother used to do.
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06-01-2010, 02:09 PM | #522 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Patty, lol.
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06-01-2010, 05:17 PM | #523 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
It was titled "A woman's poem" LOL
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06-01-2010, 07:32 PM | #524 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Patty - go girl!!! So true! lol!
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06-14-2010, 09:32 AM | #525 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
> Subject: The Nun at Hooters > > > The Nun in Hooters > > > > A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. > > The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. > > However, when the revellers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?" > > The bartender replied, "OK, but should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." > > "Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun. > > So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. > > She went to the bartender and said........................... "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?" > > "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender,"Would you like a drink?" > > > > "No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. > > "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?" >
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Men In Nursing- "A Few Good Men" "Gardening is the purest of human pleasures." - Francis Bacon "If by a liberal, they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind; someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions; someone who cares about the welfare of the people, their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, their civil liberties; someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicion that grips us; that is what they meant by a liberal, I am proud to be a liberal." John F. Kennedy, September, 1960 http://flickr.com/photos/saltydad/ and http://community.webshots.com/user/saltydad http://s751.photobucket.com/albums/xx151/saltydad/ |
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06-14-2010, 09:54 AM | #526 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Patty, it should have been called "the wanna-be woman's poem" or "the incompetent woman's poem". After all, some of us do know how to cook and look after our men!
Howard that is just hilarious! Saw this pic this morning... Too funny! : ) |
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06-22-2010, 03:12 PM | #527 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Amazingly Simple Home Remedies:
1. Avoid Cutting Yourself When Slicing Vegetables By Getting Someone Else To Hold The Vegetables While You Chop. 2. Avoid Arguments With The Females About Lifting The Toilet Seat By Using The Sink. It All Goes To The Same Place Anyway. 3. For High Blood Pressure Sufferers ~ Simply Cut Yourself And Bleed For A Few Minutes, Thus Reducing The Pressure On Your Veins. Even George Washington Did This! Remember To Use A Timer. 4. A Mouse Trap Placed On Top Of Your Alarm Clock Will Prevent You From Rolling Over And Going Back To Sleep After You Hit The Snooze Button. 5. If You Have A Bad Cough, Take A Large Dose Of Laxatives. Then You'll Be Afraid To Cough. 6. You Only Need Two Tools In Life - Wd-40 And Duct Tape. If It Doesn't Move And Should, Use The Wd-40. If It Shouldn't Move And Does, Use The Duct Tape. 7. If You Can't Fix It With A Hammer, You've Got An Electrical Problem. Daily Thought: Some People Are Like Slinkies - Not Really Good For Anything But They Bring A Smile To Your Face When Pushed Down The Stairs.
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06-30-2010, 05:25 PM | #528 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
So, one by one, pics describing the best you could've seen on the WC '10 (World Cup 2010 )
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06-30-2010, 05:26 PM | #529 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Now when you get this one, you will be literally Rolling On Floor Laughing.
Keep smiling, for the best things in life are for free. Yet.
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06-30-2010, 05:32 PM | #530 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
And finally, the best goes last, this is the description of socialism, as one of our journalists wrote it several days ago (in celebration of defeating socialists here).
Socialism, definition: 1. Everybody has a job. 2. Although everybody has a job, nobody actually does anything. 3. Although nobody does anything, the plan is always fulfilled on more than 100% 4. Although the plan is fulfilled on more than 100%, there's an absolute lack of everything everywhere. 5. Although there's an absolute lack of everything everywhere, everybody has everything. 6. Although everybody has everything, everybody keeps stealing. 7. Although everybody keeps stealing, nothing actually disappears or is unaccounted for. It's so confusing on purpose. Hope this brings some smile to your faces.
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Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received. Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs) Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs) Last edited by Jack Daw : 06-30-2010 at 05:40 PM. |
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08-05-2010, 02:41 PM | #531 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Bump!!!
Look what made its way to our web news today... Eva Mendez. And I must say, it's not as dumb as one might think. Ladies and gentlemen, here's Eva Mendez and her S.EX Tape. Eva Mendes Sex Tape from Eva Mendes, Jake, and FOD Team - Video
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08-05-2010, 07:36 PM | #532 (permalink) |
Banana brain
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Re: Dumb Jokes
This movie was aweful!..although this trailer makes it seem alot better than it really was. =)
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08-18-2010, 08:12 AM | #533 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Bump, again. I hope you liked my previous post (Eva Mendez's SE.X Tape).
And here's one really dumb joke. Dumb (naturally), joke (to more educated people)... you know, this happens, if you prefer backstage corruption of organizers and don't send a really beautiful and smart woman to MISS UNIVERSE 2010. I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry, just do both as you watch this... Ladies and Gentlemen, Miss Slovakia 2010 video for MISS UNIVERSE competition.
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08-18-2010, 08:23 AM | #534 (permalink) |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
OMG, Poland is even worse.
And another pearl from Sri Lanka. Sheesh, if they were horses, I would be afraid to let them out of the stall.
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Thnx to Marcel, Ante, Dr. Chiranjit Parmar and Francesco for the plants I've received. Zeitgeist - Corporatocracy 101 (~2hrs) Zeitgeist - Moving Forward (~2.5hrs) Last edited by Jack Daw : 08-18-2010 at 08:27 AM. |
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08-27-2010, 12:23 AM | #535 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Hey Jack, I 'resemble' these remarks & videos!!! I am Slovanian & Polish LOL
'resemble' is good as resent. JUST A PLAY ON WORDS,,, oops - hit the cap key.
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Got a lite? Patty ____ Patty in Wisc has sadly passed away 9/05/11. We will miss you Patty. Last edited by Patty in Wisc : 08-27-2010 at 12:35 AM. |
08-27-2010, 06:44 PM | #536 (permalink) | |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Quote:
Btw., this one's for Jarred:
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08-27-2010, 06:46 PM | #537 (permalink) |
Let there be light
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Slovenian
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09-13-2010, 04:27 PM | #538 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Try using this as your outgoing message on your answering machine!!!
dial an *******, Funny, Sound Bite : ) |
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09-14-2010, 02:54 AM | #539 (permalink) | |
I think with my banana ;)
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Quote:
I like this one better: Written and performed by... And his another masterpiece:
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09-14-2010, 05:46 PM | #540 (permalink) |
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Re: Dumb Jokes
Jack, those are just too frigging funny!
I was just listening to this one. Unbelievable... Woops....I guess that relationship's over! : ) |
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