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Old 12-06-2009, 06:25 PM   #381 (permalink)
 
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Old 12-06-2009, 11:08 PM   #382 (permalink)
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Old 12-06-2009, 11:08 PM   #383 (permalink)
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Old 12-06-2009, 11:19 PM   #384 (permalink)
 
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and the news room goes quiet...









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Old 12-07-2009, 12:00 AM   #385 (permalink)
 
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: )
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Old 12-07-2009, 10:57 PM   #386 (permalink)
 
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A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes home early, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Unexpectedly, the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is already in there...


The little boy says, "Dark in here"
The man says, "Yes, it is"

Boy: "I have a baseball"
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it"?
Man: "No, thanks"
Boy: "My Dad's outside"
Man: "OK, how much"?
Boy: "$250"

Weeks later, it happens that the boy and the lover find themselves in the closet again...

Boy: "Dark in here"
Man: "Yes, it is"
Boy: "I have a baseball glove"

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "Alright, how much"?
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold"

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside for a game of catch"...

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove"
The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for"?
The boy says "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to rip off your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession"

In church, the Dad makes sure the boy goes into the confessional and closes the door...

The boy says, "Dark in here"
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again - you're in my closet now"



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Old 12-08-2009, 12:04 PM   #387 (permalink)
 
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Too funny...


[YT]piPyfqAKf6o[/YT]
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Old 12-09-2009, 02:19 PM   #388 (permalink)
 
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The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again - you're in my closet now"
That's really offensive...
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Old 12-09-2009, 02:33 PM   #389 (permalink)
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[yt]
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Old 12-09-2009, 02:59 PM   #390 (permalink)
 
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Classic Carlin! Thanks for posting that one!
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Old 12-09-2009, 03:05 PM   #391 (permalink)
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That's really offensive...
I strongly disagree. I thought the joke was very funny! There are much more offensive things on TV right now. They can be summed up as "reality TV".

Also, if you read some of the jokes in this thread, you will find several that poke fun at priests, nuns, blondes, etc etc. That is why this thread is called "Dumb jokes".

Another point I want to make.. A few years ago.. many priests and cardinals were guilty of the most offensive crimes ever! Child Molestation. If the joke were about Michael Jackson, would you be offended???

Comedy has always pushed the boundaries. The only time I don't like jokes is when they poke fun at the recently deceased. The reason being that no matter what wrong/silliness that person did in his/her life, that person has family that is grieving and who may come across that joke. I love south park, but hated when they poked fun of the crocodile hunter and MJ not even a week after they died. No matter what your religious beliefs, death is a serious matter. Now, I wouldn't push to have one removed or take the time to post that I am offended by it.

Last edited by supermario : 12-09-2009 at 03:23 PM.
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Old 12-09-2009, 03:07 PM   #392 (permalink)
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Classic Carlin! Thanks for posting that one!
One of my favorite comedians! He is one of those guys who always pushed the boundaries. May he RIP.
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Old 12-09-2009, 05:24 PM   #393 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by supermario View Post
I strongly disagree. I thought the joke was very funny! There are much more offensive things on TV right now. They can be summed up as "reality TV".

Also, if you read some of the jokes in this thread, you will find several that poke fun at priests, nuns, blondes, etc etc. That is why this thread is called "Dumb jokes".

Another point I want to make.. A few years ago.. many priests and cardinals were guilty of the most offensive crimes ever! Child Molestation. If the joke were about Michael Jackson, would you be offended???

Comedy has always pushed the boundaries. The only time I don't like jokes is when they poke fun at the recently deceased. The reason being that no matter what wrong/silliness that person did in his/her life, that person has family that is grieving and who may come across that joke. I love south park, but hated when they poked fun of the crocodile hunter and MJ not even a week after they died. No matter what your religious beliefs, death is a serious matter. Now, I wouldn't push to have one removed or take the time to post that I am offended by it.
You don't have to agree, but when someone makes fun of your religion like that, it not funny. Yeah priest used to do some bad things like in the 16th century but this joke seems like a pretty modern joke to me. If you had a religion, then I don't think you'd be laughing. Of course death is a serious matter but joking about a dead person is just as rude as joking about someones religion. I know comedy goes a little beyond some boundaries, but you shouldn't go too far as to hurt someone.
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Old 12-09-2009, 06:37 PM   #394 (permalink)
 
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I think what the Catholic priests did RECENTLY (Molestation & higher ups MOVING them around to HIDE it) was FAR more offensive then any joke that I have ever heard

Jokes are jokes...take them as such
I'm really tired of the PC stuff where you can't say anything that might offend someone
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:08 PM   #395 (permalink)
 
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I certainly didn't mean any harm - I am Catholic, after all. Just a little humor - take it or leave it.





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Old 12-09-2009, 07:17 PM   #396 (permalink)
 
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I think what the Catholic priests did RECENTLY (Molestation & higher ups MOVING them around to HIDE it) was FAR more offensive then any joke that I have ever heard

Jokes are jokes...take them as such
I'm really tired of the PC stuff where you can't say anything that might offend someone
Sorry but rules are rules! And if you want to offended someone or talk trash about my religion, then go talk to the admin about it. Gosh! You people stop making fun about my religion, please!? If you had a religion, I wouldn't make fun of it! It's rude, this is suppose to be a friendly website, how about we keep it that way!
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:20 PM   #397 (permalink)
 
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YOUR religion ?
I think its more then your religion, its a lot of peoples
Its ANOTHER Catholic making the joke
ITS a JOKE
You have the option of not reading jokes or this thread
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:42 PM   #398 (permalink)
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Sorry but rules are rules! And if you want to offended someone or talk trash about my religion, then go talk to the admin about it. Gosh! You people stop making fun about my religion, please!? If you had a religion, I wouldn't make fun of it! It's rude, this is suppose to be a friendly website, how about we keep it that way!
Scuba Dave's initial comment was not poking fun at the catholic religion. He mentioned a fact and gave his opinion of it. My comments were not an attack on the catholic religion either, nor were they meant to harm you in any way. I just think you need to lighten up.
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:49 PM   #399 (permalink)
 
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Sorry, I'm just very sensitive about my religion, all I said was that I found it offensive is all, it didn't have to go this far. Just understand that I'm very religious and I will defend it. Even if it is a joke, it's what strong Catholics do.
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Old 12-09-2009, 07:52 PM   #400 (permalink)
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Blonde Selling Car

A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
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