sputinc7

The female dentist prepares the needle to give a guy with toothache an anaesthetic injection.
"No way! No needles, I hate needles!" - the guy says.

So the dentist starts to hook up her nitrous oxide gas
but the man objects again.
"I can't do the gas thing either.
Just the thought of having the gas mask on my face makes me sick!"
She then asks the guy if he has any objection to taking a pill.

"No objection" the patient says. "'I'm fine with pills."
When she returns she says: "Here's a Viagra and a glass of water."

The guy says: "Wow! I didn't know Viagra worked as a pain killer!"

"It doesn't" she says, "But it'll give you something to hold on to while I pull your tooth out."

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If you lose your head and give up, you neither live nor win.

https://sputinc7.wixsite.com/covwc

Varieties I supposedly bought: Manzano, Cavendish, Blue Java, Sweetheart, and Gros Michel.
What it seems I actually have: Brazilian, Cavendish, Namwah, Dwarf Red, Gros Michel, Pisang Ceylon, Veinte Cohol and SH 3640, and American Goldfinger. FHIA 1, Paggi and FHIA 17... Always room for one more.

Worm_Farmer

What's the difference between Lebron and a Tree?


A Tree has more Rings!

sputinc7

What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

__________________

If you lose your head and give up, you neither live nor win.

https://sputinc7.wixsite.com/covwc

Varieties I supposedly bought: Manzano, Cavendish, Blue Java, Sweetheart, and Gros Michel.
What it seems I actually have: Brazilian, Cavendish, Namwah, Dwarf Red, Gros Michel, Pisang Ceylon, Veinte Cohol and SH 3640, and American Goldfinger. FHIA 1, Paggi and FHIA 17... Always room for one more.

sputinc7

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a goat sitting next to him.
"Are you a goat?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The goat replied, "Well, I liked the book."

__________________

If you lose your head and give up, you neither live nor win.

https://sputinc7.wixsite.com/covwc

Varieties I supposedly bought: Manzano, Cavendish, Blue Java, Sweetheart, and Gros Michel.
What it seems I actually have: Brazilian, Cavendish, Namwah, Dwarf Red, Gros Michel, Pisang Ceylon, Veinte Cohol and SH 3640, and American Goldfinger. FHIA 1, Paggi and FHIA 17... Always room for one more.

sputinc7

During the initial space flights, Nasa discovered that biro pens didn’t work under zero gravity conditions. To beat the problem, Nasa spent 6 years and $2 million in designing a pen for use in space. The pen would work under zero gravity conditions due to the pressurized ink inside, it would work under sub zero conditions, underwater, on glass and virtually any surface known to man.

The Russians used a pencil.

.

__________________

If you lose your head and give up, you neither live nor win.

https://sputinc7.wixsite.com/covwc

Varieties I supposedly bought: Manzano, Cavendish, Blue Java, Sweetheart, and Gros Michel.
What it seems I actually have: Brazilian, Cavendish, Namwah, Dwarf Red, Gros Michel, Pisang Ceylon, Veinte Cohol and SH 3640, and American Goldfinger. FHIA 1, Paggi and FHIA 17... Always room for one more.

Kat2

Marcus Pinkus, a tailor of questionable reputation, sold a couple of nuns some new habits. They said "it's very important that they're black. Very dark grey or navy won't work."

Marcus assured them that they were the purest black they would find.

They were talking on the way back to the convent. They saw a rabbi and one of them said "Rabbis wear black. Follow my lead and we can check our habits." One of them asked him if he had the time. When he brought up his arm to check his watch they discretely held their arms next to his. They looked at each other, shouted something, and ran off.

About that time the rabbi's friend came along and asked "What was all that about?"

"Something important must be going on in their church. They asked me for the time, then gave me a blessing in Latin that was the most exuberant one I've ever heard before running off."

"Really? What was the blessing?"

"Marcus Pinkus Fuctus."

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