Bananas.org - View Single Post

caliboy1994 · 01-24-2014, 11:47 PM

For Californians:

If you live in or are from Southern California, whenever you say the name of a freeway you must add the prefix "the" to it. For example, "the 405" or "the 110."
If you live south of Santa Cruz, you must NEVER, EVER say "hella" or you will be deported to Marin County via the 101 straight from Los Angeles.
If you travel to any other state you must always complain about the weather in some way, or brag about how the weather is better in California.
I don't care what part of the state you live in, anything under 50 degrees Fahrenheit is cold. Everything else is normal.
If you are from Northern California and you act like a steezer, you will be forcibly shipped to San Diego in a truck full of oranges.
If you are from Southern California, you must always drive like a complete and utter a-hole. Cut people off and tailgate whenever possible. If you are from Northern California, these rules do not apply.
If you are from the Central Valley you are not allowed to complain about the smell of cow farms.
If you are from Los Angeles, then you must always find an excuse to take the freeway rather than surface streets.
When driving on an open two lane freeway through Central California, if you don't go faster than 80 miles per hour you will be passed, tailgated, and forced to drive behind all of the trucks.
If you have never seen the Hollywood sign in person then you have no life.
Loud music is acceptable if it was made in California. Blasting East Coast rap in your car is strictly prohibited.
If you are unable to make it big in the entertainment industry then you always have the option of moving up to Northern California and growing pot. You will make just as much money if not more.
In Los Angeles, the 101 always has traffic no matter what. But if you take the surface streets instead then you are sinning and will burn in Death Valley for all of eternity.
The fruit tree orchards in the Central Valley are fertilized with the angst of Texans who hate California and the cows' feed is laced with chemicals that will turn you into a liberal (unless you are from Orange County, they put something in the water there that neutralizes it).
We have the most attractive women in the entire country, therefore dating a woman who is not California native is heresy, and you will be shunned. The same chemicals that they put in cow feed to turn you liberal also increases bust size in women and causes men to go tan and want to surf all the time.
If you are from Santa Monica you are not allowed to complain about the weather.
If you are from the high desert and you commute to work in Los Angeles then you are automatically considered a bad driver.
Soccer moms are always allowed to use the carpool lane NO MATTER WHAT. No questions asked.
It is not acceptable to drive at less than 60 miles per hour on a dangerous canyon road.
If you live within a 100 mile radius of Hollywood then you automatically have bragging rights.
If you don't live in the desert, then to you the wind farms on the way to Palm Springs are the most fascinating thing in the world.
Having less than two cars per person is strictly prohibited.
If you live in Los Angeles, then you are not allowed to complain about the smog unless you are not in Los Angeles at the moment.
If you live in San Francisco, then you must go to ALL the concerts.
Humboldt County is the only place in the world where it is acceptable to be under the influence of marijuana while driving.
If you have a car, then you are not allowed to take the Metro unless circumstances are dire.
You are too lazy to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco or from San Francisco to Los Angeles if you can afford a plane ticket, but taking a plane to Lake Tahoe is a violation of social norms.
The weather is always nicer in San Diego.
California is always in a drought no matter how much rain we got last winter.

I think that covers everything.

01-24-2014, 11:47 PM	#7 (permalink)
caliboy1994 <div style="font-style: italic;"><div style="font-style: italic;"></div></div> caliboy1994's Photo Gallery Location: SFV, California Find me on the map! Zone: USDA zone 10a; Sunset zone 18/19 Name: Andreas Join Date: Sep 2011 Posts: 2,301 BananaBucks : 322,943 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 1,474 Times Was Thanked 2,197 Times in 1,148 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 236 Times	Re: Florida Driving Code For Californians: If you live in or are from Southern California, whenever you say the name of a freeway you must add the prefix "the" to it. For example, "the 405" or "the 110." If you live south of Santa Cruz, you must NEVER, EVER say "hella" or you will be deported to Marin County via the 101 straight from Los Angeles. If you travel to any other state you must always complain about the weather in some way, or brag about how the weather is better in California. I don't care what part of the state you live in, anything under 50 degrees Fahrenheit is cold. Everything else is normal. If you are from Northern California and you act like a steezer, you will be forcibly shipped to San Diego in a truck full of oranges. If you are from Southern California, you must always drive like a complete and utter a-hole. Cut people off and tailgate whenever possible. If you are from Northern California, these rules do not apply. If you are from the Central Valley you are not allowed to complain about the smell of cow farms. If you are from Los Angeles, then you must always find an excuse to take the freeway rather than surface streets. When driving on an open two lane freeway through Central California, if you don't go faster than 80 miles per hour you will be passed, tailgated, and forced to drive behind all of the trucks. If you have never seen the Hollywood sign in person then you have no life. Loud music is acceptable if it was made in California. Blasting East Coast rap in your car is strictly prohibited. If you are unable to make it big in the entertainment industry then you always have the option of moving up to Northern California and growing pot. You will make just as much money if not more. In Los Angeles, the 101 always has traffic no matter what. But if you take the surface streets instead then you are sinning and will burn in Death Valley for all of eternity. The fruit tree orchards in the Central Valley are fertilized with the angst of Texans who hate California and the cows' feed is laced with chemicals that will turn you into a liberal (unless you are from Orange County, they put something in the water there that neutralizes it). We have the most attractive women in the entire country, therefore dating a woman who is not California native is heresy, and you will be shunned. The same chemicals that they put in cow feed to turn you liberal also increases bust size in women and causes men to go tan and want to surf all the time. If you are from Santa Monica you are not allowed to complain about the weather. If you are from the high desert and you commute to work in Los Angeles then you are automatically considered a bad driver. Soccer moms are always allowed to use the carpool lane NO MATTER WHAT. No questions asked. It is not acceptable to drive at less than 60 miles per hour on a dangerous canyon road. If you live within a 100 mile radius of Hollywood then you automatically have bragging rights. If you don't live in the desert, then to you the wind farms on the way to Palm Springs are the most fascinating thing in the world. Having less than two cars per person is strictly prohibited. If you live in Los Angeles, then you are not allowed to complain about the smog unless you are not in Los Angeles at the moment. If you live in San Francisco, then you must go to ALL the concerts. Humboldt County is the only place in the world where it is acceptable to be under the influence of marijuana while driving. If you have a car, then you are not allowed to take the Metro unless circumstances are dire. You are too lazy to drive from Los Angeles to San Francisco or from San Francisco to Los Angeles if you can afford a plane ticket, but taking a plane to Lake Tahoe is a violation of social norms. The weather is always nicer in San Diego. California is always in a drought no matter how much rain we got last winter. I think that covers everything. __________________ "The ultimate goal of farming is not the growing of crops, but the cultivation and perfection of human beings." ~ Masanobu Fukuoka Find me on linktree here as Solarpunk Farmer: https://linktr.ee/solarpunkfarmer Last edited by caliboy1994 : 01-25-2014 at 12:24 AM.