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Tiki Hut All other posts go here. Banana jokes, travel stories, anything else you would like to chat about.


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Old 01-25-2008, 08:16 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: north carolina
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Default the redneck church

ok here is the whole list.

disclaimer!!!
hopefully this does not offend anyone, or upset anyone. this was sent to me from my dad. and yall wonder why i have a warped sense of humor!



1. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two
fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
When the pastor says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the
offering," five guys and two women stand up.

4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.

5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive
truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out
of" LOVE IT!

6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
The choir is known as the "OK Chorale".

7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in
the church directory.

8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
People think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too
heavy.

9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized " Wheeling " washtub.

10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir robes were donated by (and
embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.

12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.

13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The minister and his w ife drive matching pickup trucks.

14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

15. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.

16. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...

The final words of the benediction are , "Y'all come back now, Ya
hear."
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Old 01-25-2008, 09:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Jacksonville, FL
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Default Re: the redneck church

I think we have a few of those in J'ville!!!!

You forgot the one that says the fall get together is called a "Beast Feast"!!!!!

ROTFLMAO!!!!

That was a crackup, Ms K.....

Margie:06:
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