View Full Version : What's going on here.....?
When I first joined here looking to learn something about growing bananas in this less than hospitable climate I was welcomed by lots of great growers world wide. Because of that I've enjoyed spectacular success and to date have had & bananas fruit the past two years. It's been a lot of fun and I've made good friends with and corresponded and even met a lot of people from all over the country as well as having my own visitors from Wisconsin and even Canada.
There's always been a lot of good spirited ribbing back and forth though there has always been some negeative and quite frankly anoying members that crop up wherever you go such as say..... our beloved " trying to have some class , I wont mention their name " who's made a point of harrasing anyone growing organically... which is understandable in a sense since he makes his living selling chemical fertilizers. Of course he's also made a point harrasing certain members to no end ( usually women) such as my late dear friend and long time member "Patty in Wisconsin" till the day she died. Did the same thing with another woman friend here from Texas....( bet that makes you feel good doesn't it?) As well as targeting new members and with that same cavalier attitude scaring them off the site offering no real help to those joining here and looking for some practical advice like I was so lucky to get when I arrived.
Now there seems to be a group of people ( some people I consider friends)that I know and even some I've met using this forum to harrass other members ( ... and once again friends of mine) and likely run them off the site. It's just not right.
It seems every year at this time members get testy and fight and harrass other people but the thing that others me is that I've noticed recently that a lot of new members join and then leave right away.... which is normal and has gone on for as long as I've been here. But it seems to be happening more than usual. It's not good for the . org or any of us!
Personally I think it's because of all the negative and back handed posts that have been going on recently.
For the good of this org and all the old and new members here I think it's just not healthy and leads to no good end at all so....
I'm asking you to think about it and stop. This used to be the most friendly helpful group of gardeners sharing the same love of banana culture in the world and easily can be again....... if we're all a little more considerate. Some things are funny for a short while but after a bit get pretty out of hand as they seem to be now.
Just my observation.
B
momoese
11-17-2011, 07:11 PM
Hey now, look at all those fun threads. It's all good. :)
laserlight
11-18-2011, 02:11 PM
Thats happening at home and at other sites too. =[ It happened at GF and they found a way to fix it and that sites friendlier now. Maybe i will try that here. =)
Jack Daw
11-18-2011, 03:31 PM
Ignore those people, posts and threads, that don't really interest/offend you. In case of forum rules violations, let the mods know... other than that, life's beautiful, don't let others drag you to negative attitudes. :)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPUmE-tne5U (http://youtu.be/iPUmE-tne5U)
jjjankovsky
11-18-2011, 05:28 PM
Forums are like that...I guess you'd better grow some thick skin, because the individual doesn't get to choose who responds and how they do it.
Yeah, I know,...some of that stuff is stupid, and it comes with the territory.
The alternative would be heavy moderation, then this place might resemble that old Coca-Cola commercial with the awfull song that sticks in your head.
In response to the banal post, hone your response skills.
laserlight
11-18-2011, 06:03 PM
music and game and skate forums are always like that and i always know what to say and i just lol. i didnt think this forum was like that too but im a noob here so i dont know much about it yet. its a ton friendlier than the other forums i joined. its even friendlier than MySpace.
Jananas Bananas
11-19-2011, 12:55 PM
I agree wholeheartedly with Bob!!! I have met some of the most wonderful people here that I have ever met in my life! A few in person, most only online. That doesn't make them any less my friends. I don't like it and am offended when they are picked on. I'm sure every one of us feels the same about our own friends. I'm not talking about a snake in the grass friend - someone that pretends to be a friend and as soon as the time is right - the knife is in the back! If the shoe fits, you know who you are! But you can never know about people either. We had a wonderful posting member, very encouraging and helpful, always willing to share their plants, that was sent to prison for life. SO..... you really DON'T know about people.
Opinions are like a$$holes - everybody has one. BUT just because you don't share the SAME opinion doesn't mean the other is wrong - it is just different than yours. And believe it or not there can be more than one "right" way!
I personally try very hard to always see the bright side of things! I try to show that in my posts. If I'm in a bad mood, I just don't post at all - even though I want to be grumpy. :)
I truly feel like some apologies are in order. I will be the first - if I have offended you in any way with my posts I sincerely apologize. I will send you a PM personally if you let me know.
Let's try hard to make this and keep this the best forum on the internet!!!!!
~JaNan
The Hollyberry Lady
11-19-2011, 01:26 PM
I would really like to personally thank Bob for standing up for the minority and the preyed upon women victims on this site. You are a truly caring person and the definition and essence of what it means to be a REAL man. I am proud to call you a friend. :D
You too Janan. It takes a lot of courage to speak out and say the truth, and some will hate you for it. The quality people though, will support you and understand what you're saying. I sure have a lot of good friends here. ;)
I also am a victim of flaming on this site and I had to inform Jarred of the ridicule and ganging up that was going on here under a guise of something else. The smart and sensitive people on the site though, knew just exactly what was going on.
It's concerning that 'adults' would participate in this kind of thing...when we all know that children are comitting suicide from this precise kind of bullying and ganging up activity! It shouldn't be tolerated under any circumstances.
I'm upset to see new people that join here too, being discouraged and outrightly shot down for their way of doing things and having threads about plant grow lights always get destroyed so that no one can have a genuine discussion about them. New people have left disgusted, and regretting they ever started a thread at all! I can't believe it's allowed to go on.
I am very saddened to think that this is what this site has been reduced to, and that people would involve themselves in this sort of thing. No integrity. :(
Sure hope it stops.
: (
jreidsma
11-19-2011, 01:45 PM
There will always seem to be people everywhere that hurt others, all we can do is try not to fall prey and become friends with those who really are nice :) And try not to be hurtful to others.
Like Janan said, I am sorry if I have offended anyone.
many others, and I myself, try to make this a helpful place filled with nice people. And I hope that that good side of this website will continue on.
And thanks to all that care for each other :)
The Hollyberry Lady
11-20-2011, 10:38 AM
I really think that more moderation is needed here because some people just don't know how to act in a respectful and dignified way.
Shame there are so many cliques here now too. It reminds me of highschool days but we're adults.
Thanks for your input Jordan. You and Janan have nothing to apologize for and you are both wonderful additions to this site.
: )
Richard
11-20-2011, 10:54 AM
There are some folks online that can be grouchy when you have a different point of view, but then there are a few that just become vengeful -- seeking out opportunities to be insulting, either directly or through poorly disguised innuendo. Responding to this kind of activity will just fuel the fire. If it persists over a period of weeks, then just add them to your ignore list and your life will become blissful again.
oakshadows
11-20-2011, 12:34 PM
This something that I haven't noticed. A few jokes and maybe some strong thoughts but I didn't catch anything real harsh about them.
In my opinion anyone who hides behind their computer and says or does things to hurt another is in my opinion "A Coward" and is more than likely someone who is not in a happy place and is mad at themselves. If one can not say something good about another then it is better for them to not say anything.
MediaHound
11-21-2011, 03:13 PM
I know its hard to get everyone to agree on everything. We can agree to disagree. But I really hope to see the negativity and bullying come to a halt as well.
harveyc
01-13-2012, 03:31 PM
It is not what enters one’s mouth that defiles that person; but what comes out of the mouth is what defiles one.
Someone much more well-known than my wife said that. My wife just says "If you don't have something good to say, don't say anything."
In general, all of us should try harder to build others up instead of knock them down. Our late friend Tog did a great job of that every day.
Richard
01-13-2012, 05:49 PM
there has always been some negeative and quite frankly anoying members that crop up wherever you go such as say..... our beloved " trying to have some class , I wont mention their name " who's made a point of harrasing anyone growing organically... which is understandable in a sense since he makes his living selling chemical fertilizers.
Since this comment and entire thread is directed at me, I will respond that I have never harassed anyone growing organically, nor do I make a living selling chemical fertilizers. In particular, over half of the fertilizer products I sell are organic.
Further, the claim that I harassed Patty in Wisc is patently false, and especially the statement that I was doing it until the day she died. The reality is that I sold her some banana plants several years ago which did not survive the postal journey. I gave her a full refund, and yet she started sending flames. She was on my blocked list from that point forward and I haven't communicated with or about her in two years.
I grew up and worked in an academic environment. When researchers disagree with each other about facts and/or theories, they do not take it personally. I have come to learn here that in the general public the opposite approach prevails. I really don't feel responsible for someone leaving this site because some lighting charts I posted or when I've stated that "plants feed on inorganic minerals". I may disagree with others about matters of fact, but I do not engage in personal attacks against others. I wholeheartedly meant it when I said: Happy New Year Everyone.
harveyc
01-13-2012, 07:07 PM
I missed the new year's wish, Richard. Happy new year's to you as well.
I think some of the time comments get misunderstood, or at least the intent for which they were made, and then hurt feelings turn to anger, and so forth. Writing more carefully can help reduce the chances of that happening, but not eliminate those chances completely. And sometimes, I suppose, it's better not to make a comment if we disagree with something if there is no useful purpose in making the comment. On the other hand, I hope I'm still learning at this point in life and don't want to just read about things I already know about.
harveyc
01-13-2012, 08:29 PM
Oh, Richard, I think I should clarify since you wrote that the entire thread was directed to you. My comment made after noon was not directed to you but to everyone who cares to read it, myself included.
The Hollyberry Lady
01-14-2012, 12:59 AM
It's like an elephant in the living room type of situation to me...where no one can talk about it or be real, and everyone is afraid.
The fact of the matter is that several people are using this site for their own personal agendas...that have nothing whatsoever to do with plants, bananas, or gardening. It can ruin a site quicker than fast. Bullying and even stalking are alive and well here. :(
Several good members have left and more are threatening to leave soon.
Too bad, is all I can really say.
: (
Richard
01-14-2012, 01:41 AM
The fact of the matter is that several people are using this site for their own personal agendas...that have nothing whatsoever to do with plants, bananas, or gardening. It can ruin a site quicker than fast. Bullying and even stalking are alive and well here.
Please report it to the moderators by clicking on the http://www.bananas.org/images/buttons/report.gif symbol near the bottom of their posts. The moderators are quite experienced and I respect their judgement in all things concerning this site.
momoese
01-14-2012, 02:29 AM
The fact of the matter is that several people are using this site for their own personal agendas...that have nothing whatsoever to do with bananas
: (
Exactly what I was thinking.
momoese
01-14-2012, 03:14 AM
It's a banana board. We all came here for the same reason, to talk about, share, and learn about bananas.
Viva Bananas.org :sumbrero:
Richard
01-14-2012, 03:41 AM
I'm referring to people who use the site and the threads as a means to carry out their bullying and intimidation tactics. People who are really here just to cause trouble and exploit.
I've been getting personal messages from long-time members of the site who are also worried about this.
Jack Daw
01-14-2012, 12:48 PM
I unapproved those posts that were directly starting a flame war or a possible other form of war. And those posts that quoted these posts.. so that the potential ticking bomb is not to be read (even if the own content of the quoting post was not in a violation of the rules).
Everybody, I couldn't watch this "problem" evolve from the beginning, so I can't say much about which side has the truth, nor do I want to.
This forum is about bananas. It's everybody's right to contribute - positively or negatively - to anything here, but it MUST abide by the rules.
I notified Jarred about the situation in this thread, he will probably look into it a lot more detaily than I will.
The very real problem, people, is, that as long as somebody violates the forum rules, there's that little button on the bottom of the post. You can press it and it instantly let's me know (although it always starts ringing on my phone at 3a.m CET :/ ) if and when somebody violates the rules. Then it's up to the mods to decide whether it is a justified claim about a violation or not. No such reported post occured her, yet I see at least 2 threads completely in ruins because of people arguing here. Why?
You CAN choose what to comment on, what to post, what to react at... You MUST tolerate somebody else's opinions and beliefs and you have not right, but DUTY to ignore those you are not fond of. Critical thinking is an important concept, especially on a forum that is, from a big part, anonymous.
One more thing: I won't tolerate accusations without proofs and solid basis. Neither will I take into account feelings and rumors. That way it is possible to censore anybody. If there's a violation of any rule, let me know. If there isn't please disperse the crowd.
Closed and pending Jarred's resolution...
3 posts pending moderation.
MediaHound
01-15-2012, 09:33 AM
I personally don't have the time nor the desire anymore to deal with the drama between Richard and Sherry and anyone else for that matter. I'm at my wit's end with hearing complaints and reported posts. Everyone who has a disagreement with someone else, just need to stop posting about it and IGNORE each other and just move on. Stop ****ting in everyone else's living room and take your disagreements in private, and not on this site. And stop insinuating at things and subtly antagonizing each other. Enough is enough. Richard, STOP. Sherry, STOP. Leave each other alone once and for all.
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