chong

A cruise you may want to try....something exciting and an adrenalin pumper....

*Somali Cruise Package *

I found a Somali cruise package that departs from Sawakin (in the Sudan)
and docks at Bagamoya (in Tanzania). The cost is a bit high but I didn't
find that offensive. What I found enticing is that the cruise company is
encouraging people to bring their 'High powered weapons' along on the
cruise. If you don't have weapons you can rent them right there on the
boat. They claim to have a master gunsmith on board and will have
reloading parties every afternoon.

The cruise lasts from 4-8 days and nights and costs a maximum of US$3200
per person double occupancy (4 days). All the boat does is sail up and
down the coast of Somalia awaiting the approach of pirates.

Here are some of the costs and claims associated with the package.
US$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day cruise) M-16 full auto
rental US$25.00/day ammo at 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at
US$15.95
AK-47 riffle @ No charge. Ammo at 100 rounds of 7.62 com black ball ammo
at US$14.95 Barrett M-107 50 cal sniper rifle rental US$55.00/day ammo
at 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at US$9.95 Crew members can double as
spotters for 30.00 per hour (spotting scope included). They even offer
rocket propelled grenades at US$75 and US$200 dollars for three standard
loads "Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment
and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am."

Meals are not included but seem reasonable. Most cruises offer a
mini-bar... These gung ho entrepreneurs offer......... get this.....
"MOUNTED MINIGUN AVAILABLE @US$450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire"
They advertise group rates and corporate discounts......and even claim
"FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY"

They even offer a partial money back if not satisfied....here's some
text from the ad:

"We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts
by pirates or we will refund half your money including gun rental
charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included).. How can we
guarantee you will experience a hijacking attempt? We operate at 5 knots
within 12 miles of the coast of Somalia. If an attempted hijacking does
not occur we turn the boat around and cruise by at 4 knots. We will
repeat this for up to 8 days making one pass per day along the entire
length of Somalia. At night the boat is fully lit and bottle rockets are
shot off at intervals. Loud disco music is directed toward the shore to
attract attention. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve
your package before May 31 and get 100 free rounds of tracer ammo in the
caliber of your choice."

As if all that isn't enough to whet your appetite, here are a few
testimonials

"I got three confirmed kills on my most recent trip. I felt like the
Kommandant of a 1950's Gulag camp. I'll never hunt big game in Africa
again. --Igor, Moskva, Russia

"Six attacks in four days was more than I expected. I bagged three
pirates, and my 12-year-old son sank two fiberglass pirate boats with
the minigun. PIRATES 0--PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make
sure your spotter speaks Chinese" --Shiu Wong, Taipei, Taiwan

"I haven't had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don't worry
about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship
with those weapons they use. Their poor gun skills remind me of a
drunken 'juicer' door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in
Nam" ----"Chopper' Dan, Toledo, Ohio, USA.