Re: Dumb Jokes
A derelict man walks into a bar, goes straight up to the bartender, and says:
"Hey buddy, if I can show you something so amazing that it knocks your socks right off your feet, will you give me that Texas Mickey of Jim Beam you've got up there on the wall?"
And the bartender thinks about it for a few minutes - finally, he figures that there's no way he'll lose this bet, so he says "you're on!"
The man pulls a frog and a rat out of his pocket, and wanders over to the bar's piano. He puts the frog up on the lid, and the rat down by the keys, and these two critters start playing the best jazz the barkeep has ever heard, the rat playing stride piano and the frog singing scat. The bartender, an honourable man, gives the rummy the bottle of Jim, and the man proceeds to get blind drunk.
About three hours later, a record exec walks into the bar and is immediately blown away by the duo of the frog and rat. He asks the barman - "how much for that act? I've gotta have that act!" and the barman points out that the frog and the rat belong to the disreputable and smelly personage currently lying under the bar. So the exec kneels down and shakes the drunk into some sort of consciousness.
"I'll pay you $50,000 for that act!" yells the businessman.
"No dice" says the drunk.
"100,000" - "nope" - "300,000" - "nope"
"OK" says the record exec. "I'll pay you half a million dollars for the frog."
"Deal!" says the drunk, and the exec proceeds to write him out a cheque for the amount, then scoops up the frog and goes giggling out the door.
The barman, astounded, grabs the drunk by the lapels of his grimy suitjacket and hoiks him up to the bar, screaming "how could you possibly split up that act! That was the most amazing act I've ever seen in my life, how could you do it!?!?!?"
And the rummy grins a toothless grin, and says "Itsh ok. The rat.... the rat ish a ventriloquish.."
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