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sputinc7 · 06-12-2016, 11:18 AM

A few more. I couldn't help myself...

A Blonde goes over to her friend's house Wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt.

'Why are you wearing a Thank God It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?'

'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't Realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant "Tits Go In Front"
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George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below.

Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted.

The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland."

George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One".

The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's."

George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!"

The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!"

Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped."

The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!"
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A man in Florida

tries to buy half a head of lettuce.

The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some idiot wants to buy half a head of lettuce."

As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada."

"No kidding?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"

06-12-2016, 11:18 AM	#7 (permalink)
sputinc7 Location: Palm Bay, Florida Find me on the map! Zone: 9b Name: Steve Join Date: Mar 2016 Posts: 1,394 BananaBucks : 130,586 Feedback: 3 / 100% Said "Thanks" 352 Times Was Thanked 2,430 Times in 971 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 295 Times	Re: Best bad jokes A few more. I couldn't help myself... A Blonde goes over to her friend's house Wearing a T.G.I.F. T-shirt. 'Why are you wearing a Thank God It's Friday tee-shirt on Monday?' 'Oh crap!' the blonde says. 'I didn't Realize it was a religious T-shirt. I thought it meant "Tits Go In Front" --------------------------------- George W. was out jogging one morning along the parkway when he tripped, fell over the bridge railing and landed in the creek below. Before the Secret Service guys could get to him, three kids, who were fishing, pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disneyland." George said, "No problem. I'll take you there on Air Force One". The second kid said, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jordan's." George said, "I'll get them for you and even have Michael sign them!" The third kid said, "I want a motorized wheelchair with a built-in TV and stereo headset!!" Bush is a little perplexed by this and says, "But you don't look like you are handicapped." The kid says, "I will be after my dad finds out I saved your ass from drowning!" ---------------------------------------------- A man in Florida tries to buy half a head of lettuce. The very young produce assistant tells him that they sell only whole heads of lettuce. The man persists and asks to see the manager. The boy says he'll ask his manager about it. Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some idiot wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standingright behind him, so he added, "And this gentleman has kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal, and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?" "Canada, sir," the boy replied. "Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and hockey players up there." "Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada." "No kidding?" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?" __________________ If you lose your head and give up, you neither live nor win. https://sputinc7.wixsite.com/covwc Varieties I supposedly bought: Manzano, Cavendish, Blue Java, Sweetheart, and Gros Michel. What it seems I actually have: Brazilian, Cavendish, Namwah, Dwarf Red, Gros Michel, Pisang Ceylon, Veinte Cohol and SH 3640, and American Goldfinger. FHIA 1, Paggi and FHIA 17... Always room for one more.