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View Full Version : World's Heaviest Element Rediscovered in California!


JoeReal
03-20-2008, 12:28 PM
The Heaviest Element

UC Berkeley just announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium.

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert.

It can be detected, however, as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A reaction that normally takes one minute or less will require a week or more if contaminated by any Governmentium.

The half-life of Governmentium is 4 years. It does not, however, decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutron exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

The characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is called Critical Morass.

mskitty38583
03-20-2008, 12:56 PM
how true! and boy did you say a mouth full. an this is what they look like when anything hits the fan...:2729:

microfarmer
03-20-2008, 02:20 PM
That's great, Joe!

JoeReal
03-20-2008, 02:34 PM
You're all welcome, but I did not write that one. It was sent to my anonymously by one of my email contacts working for the Governmentium, :2738: Was amused myself so shared it with y'all.

Going Bananas
08-02-2015, 04:38 PM
Dr Nick and all the PhD on this site.
Could you please decipher
this literary work of art?

Is JoeReal still around?
I dont recall 312 elements on the
chemistry chart of elements?