Thanks for all the replies.
So Dwarf Orinoco is out of the question because of the height with an 8 foot ceiling? Although the wiki says 5-8 foot, someone commented that it usually stays 5 foot, and virtually all other sources say that 5-6 foot is maximum height in container.
Do you guys know of any annual fruit that is kind of similar to the banana in it's light requirements for fruiting? I'm currently trying some melons, I'll have to see if they fruit or if it's just going to cost me a bunch of fertilizer. Annuals are just a whole bunch cheaper to try before getting a banana because there's a ton of markets here that sell those seeds very cheap during this time of the year. I can get a "mainstream" fruit tree very cheap as well, but with limited choice in cultivar. Banana's are about as exotic as it gets, though.
If spraying water and keeping it in a semi greenhouse is enough for humidity then that is no problem. The warmth probably not either. During winter it might get down to 50 F but if I close the window at night it won't go lower. Summer is hit/miss. Sometimes we have a very hot 5-6 month summer, and sometimes it's just clouds and rain with the occasional sunny day. It's just really cloudy here all the time, and even on a south window there's not going to be a massive amount of sunlight. West is my best choice, and that's just...bad. Light is one of the few things that I really don't want to simulate here because the electric bill would go through the roof.
Musa Dwarf Puerto Rican - Bananas Wiki
Is this the plant you meant? Dwarf Puerto Rican Plantain? It says 6-8 foot, if it grows above 5-6 in container that would make it too tall...