Serial BULLIES & Internet TROLLS - Page 3

The Hollyberry Lady · 01-07-2012, 09:31 PM

Their sense of entitlement makes them think they don't have to follow rules...

- narcissists believe they shouldn't have to follow the standards that everyone else lives by. However, they are the first to complain if they see someone else stepping outside of socially acceptable behaviour.

- it's not at all unusual for these people to jump lines or make scenes in stores and restaurants to get preferential treatment.

- often exhibit immature behaviour, poor manners, impulsiveness and excessive demands. What they want, they want immediately.

- are selectively friendly, being sickly sweet to some people, downright rude to others, and completely ignoring the rest.

- narcissists are well-known for arriving late at events so they can "make an entrance" and thus gain attention.

- it is common for them to cancel commitments without reason or warning, most often because a better offer came along (although they probably won't admit this).

- feel it's okay for them to exploit people without any reciprocation on their part.

- often will expect extravagant presents on their birthday, but if they buy anything at all for the other person, it probably wouldn't cost them more than five dollars.

- if a narcissist uncharacteristically buys you a thoughtful or expensive gift be very suspicious - they are likely setting you up for a favour of some sort.

- like anyone with the emotions of a six year old, many narcissists have very poor boundaries over possessions and tend to believe that what belongs to their friends and followers actually belongs to themselves. They often "borrow" things and return them very reluctantly (if at all) but at the same time are very loath to share their own possessions - even with those closest to them.

- because they are usually social climbers, narcissists often treat service people like dirt (unless they want something from them which they are not paid to provide under normal circumstances) while sucking up to the people they are impressed with. If someone is nice to you, but appallingly rude to the waiter for no apparent reason, you might be dining with a full-blown narcissist.

- some of these people are actually proud of being snobs, believing that they shouldn't have to associate with lesser mortals.

- if a bully or a narcissist gets themselves elevated to a position of authority, it is almost certain that they will make up many specific rules for their followers to live by, which they themselves are exempt from.

- in extreme cases they may be involved in criminal activities.

More soon...

: )

The Hollyberry Lady · 01-10-2012, 10:43 PM

One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and show them who is boss.

There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate:

1. Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down.

2. Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim.

3. Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim property, rather than physically confronting the victim.

4. Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression.

5. Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves.

: (

The Hollyberry Lady · 01-13-2012, 06:40 PM

It's importatant to note...

A bully is a person who:

•has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour

•wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world.

•abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)

•is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others

•does not want to know of any other way of behaving

•is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.

Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.

Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfil the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed. This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia.

Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying.

Bullies are people who have not learned the lesson of consequences, ie that if they behave well there are good consequences (reward), but if they behave badly there are bad consequences (restriction, sanction, punishment, etc). Since childhood, bullies have learnt that they can avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through the instinctive response of denial, blame, and feigning victimhood.

Definition of narcissism...

Narcissism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder include, but are not limited to:

•Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
•May take advantage of others to reach his or her own goal
•Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents
•Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
•Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
•Easily becomes jealous
•Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
•Obsessed with oneself
•Mainly pursues selfish goals
•Trouble keeping healthy relationships
•Is easily hurt and rejected
•Sets unreal goals
•Wants "the best" of everything
•Appears as tough-minded or unemotional

Perhaps a mental illness thread is needed also...

: )

Richard · 01-14-2012, 01:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Hollyberry Lady

Perhaps a mental illness thread is needed also..

but ...

01-07-2012, 09:31 PM	#41 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,353,568 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Serial BULLIES & Internet TROLLS Their sense of entitlement makes them think they don't have to follow rules... - narcissists believe they shouldn't have to follow the standards that everyone else lives by. However, they are the first to complain if they see someone else stepping outside of socially acceptable behaviour. - it's not at all unusual for these people to jump lines or make scenes in stores and restaurants to get preferential treatment. - often exhibit immature behaviour, poor manners, impulsiveness and excessive demands. What they want, they want immediately. - are selectively friendly, being sickly sweet to some people, downright rude to others, and completely ignoring the rest. - narcissists are well-known for arriving late at events so they can "make an entrance" and thus gain attention. - it is common for them to cancel commitments without reason or warning, most often because a better offer came along (although they probably won't admit this). - feel it's okay for them to exploit people without any reciprocation on their part. - often will expect extravagant presents on their birthday, but if they buy anything at all for the other person, it probably wouldn't cost them more than five dollars. - if a narcissist uncharacteristically buys you a thoughtful or expensive gift be very suspicious - they are likely setting you up for a favour of some sort. - like anyone with the emotions of a six year old, many narcissists have very poor boundaries over possessions and tend to believe that what belongs to their friends and followers actually belongs to themselves. They often "borrow" things and return them very reluctantly (if at all) but at the same time are very loath to share their own possessions - even with those closest to them. - because they are usually social climbers, narcissists often treat service people like dirt (unless they want something from them which they are not paid to provide under normal circumstances) while sucking up to the people they are impressed with. If someone is nice to you, but appallingly rude to the waiter for no apparent reason, you might be dining with a full-blown narcissist. - some of these people are actually proud of being snobs, believing that they shouldn't have to associate with lesser mortals. - if a bully or a narcissist gets themselves elevated to a position of authority, it is almost certain that they will make up many specific rules for their followers to live by, which they themselves are exempt from. - in extreme cases they may be involved in criminal activities. More soon... : )

01-10-2012, 10:43 PM	#42 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,353,568 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Serial BULLIES & Internet TROLLS One would think that as people mature and progress through life, that they would stop behaviors of their youth. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sadly, adults can be bullies, just as children and teenagers can be bullies. While adults are more likely to use verbal bullying as opposed to physical bullying, the fact of the matter is that adult bullying exists. The goal of an adult bully is to gain power over another person, and make himself or herself the dominant adult. They try to humiliate victims, and show them who is boss. There are several different types of adult bullies, and it helps to know how they operate: 1. Narcissistic Adult Bully: This type of adult bully is self-centered and does not share empathy with others. Additionally, there is little anxiety about consequences. He or she seems to feel good about him or herself, but in reality has a brittle narcissism that requires putting others down. 2. Impulsive Adult Bully: Adult bullies in this category are more spontaneous and plan their bullying out less. Even if consequences are likely, this adult bully has a hard time restraining his or her behavior. In some cases, this type of bullying may be unintentional, resulting in periods of stress, or when the bully is actually upset or concerned about something unconnected with the victim. 3. Physical Bully: While adult bullying rarely turns to physical confrontation, there are, nonetheless, bullies that use physicality. In some cases, the adult bully may not actually physically harm the victim, but may use the threat of harm, or physical domination through looming. Additionally, a physical bully may damage or steal a victim property, rather than physically confronting the victim. 4. Verbal Adult Bully: Words can be quite damaging. Adult bullies who use this type of tactic may start rumors about the victim, or use sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate another person. This subtle type of bullying also has the advantage - to the bully - of being difficult to document. However, the emotional and psychological impacts of verbal bullying can be felt quite keenly and can result in reduced job performance and even depression. 5. Secondary Adult Bully: This is someone who does not initiate the bullying, but joins in so that he or she does not actually become a victim down the road. Secondary bullies may feel bad about what they are doing, but are more concerned about protecting themselves. : (

01-13-2012, 06:40 PM	#43 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,353,568 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Serial BULLIES & Internet TROLLS It's importatant to note... A bully is a person who: •has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour •wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world. •abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying) •is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others •does not want to know of any other way of behaving •is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving. Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target. Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfil the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed. This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia. Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying. Bullies are people who have not learned the lesson of consequences, ie that if they behave well there are good consequences (reward), but if they behave badly there are bad consequences (restriction, sanction, punishment, etc). Since childhood, bullies have learnt that they can avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through the instinctive response of denial, blame, and feigning victimhood. Definition of narcissism... Narcissism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder include, but are not limited to: •Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation •May take advantage of others to reach his or her own goal •Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents •Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance •Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others •Easily becomes jealous •Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others •Obsessed with oneself •Mainly pursues selfish goals •Trouble keeping healthy relationships •Is easily hurt and rejected •Sets unreal goals •Wants "the best" of everything •Appears as tough-minded or unemotional Perhaps a mental illness thread is needed also... : )

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