JoeReal

A bus stops and 2 Sawahili men (from Africa) got on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:


"Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more.
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."


"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swines!" retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country . . we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives . "

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell 'Mississippi'."

momoese

LoL! Good one Joe.

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Mitchel

MediaHound

heh

shopgirl2

Merci me!

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I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am me, If by chance we meet, it's beautiful, if not, it can't be helped. (Nietzsche).

bencelest

Oh! I can top that!

Filipinos- the most technologically advanced civilization

After digging to a depth of 100 metres last year, Russian scientists
found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the
conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one
thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists
dug 200 metres and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists
have found traces of 2000 year old optical fibres, and have concluded
that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone
1000 years earlier than the Russians".

One week later, a Filipino newspaper reported the following: "After
digging as deep as 500 metres, Filipino scientists have found
absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their
ancestors were already using wireless technology".

and another

Fw: $10 a Pill

> >Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa
> >found
>
> >a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine cabinet, he asked about using
> >one
> >of the pills. The son said, "I don't think you should take one Dad;
>they're
>
> >very strong and very expensive." "How much?" asked Grandpa. "$10.00 a
> >pill,"Answered the son.
> >"I don't care," said Grandpa, "I'd still like to try one, and before we
>
> >leave in the morning,
> >I"ll put the money under the pillow." Later the next morning, the son
>found
>
> >$110.00 under
> >the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was
> >$10.00,
> >not $110.00. "I know," said Grandpa. "The hundred is from Grandma.

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Banana Nut

Taylor

Hahaha!!!

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Taylor

Update:
23 California Gold fruit expected by Thanksgiving!
Harvested!

mskitty38583

good gracious! lol. thats funny.

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WELCOME TO THE GATOR NATION
"kokomo" beach boys:

chong

When I heard this before, the men were Italians. Really! Try reading the exchange with an Italian accent and you'll see.

Lagniappe

Here's another for the semi dirty joke thread :

A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.

"No, I don't," she replied.

"Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."

She didn't crack a smile.

"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.

But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asked

"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!"

Gotta watch those little old ladies!

Their minds are always working.

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I'm not tipsy ! I'm just not very articulate and maybe a lil tipsy .