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Old 08-22-2008, 10:04 AM   #1 (permalink)
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Default god has problems too......

GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)



To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, Grandchildren, ; Nieces, Nephews, Or students...



Here is something to make you chuckle.



Whenever your children are out of control, You can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.



After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve .



And the first thing he said was ' DON'T !'





'Don 't what ? ' Adam replied.



'Don't eat the forbidden fruit' God said

'Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit ?

Hey Eve .we have forbidden fruit ! '

' No Way ! '

'Yes way ! '



'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' Said God.

'Why ? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.



A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !



'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? ' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you ? ' Said the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve

'She started it! ' Adam said.

'Did not ! '

'Did too ! '

'DID NOT ! '



Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.



Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.



If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !



1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties Is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.



ADVICE FOR THE DAY:



Be nice to your kids.



They will choose your nursing home one day ;



AND FINALLY:





IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
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Old 08-22-2008, 10:57 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Default Re: god has problems too......

Patience and insanity are two traits you can inherit ... from your children.

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Old 08-22-2008, 01:10 PM   #3 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: god has problems too......

Thanks Sam that was good, my step kids 9 and 11 the SOS have been driving me nuts all summer, GOD love'em
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Old 08-22-2008, 01:55 PM   #4 (permalink)
 
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Talking Re: god has problems too......

That was good Sam!
When I saw the title ,I had expected to see this :




God's Problem Now


When the graveside service had no more than terminated, There was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,

'Well, she's there.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:00 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Default Re: god has problems too......

Those are both good ones!!!

Love it!
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:55 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Default Re: god has problems too......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lagniappe View Post
That was good Sam!
When I saw the title ,I had expected to see this :




God's Problem Now


When the graveside service had no more than terminated, There was a tremendous burst of thunder accompanied by a distant lightning bolt and more rumbling thunder.

The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said,

'Well, she's there.
that was great i fell out my chair laughing!!!!
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Old 08-22-2008, 03:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Default Re: god has problems too......

Quote:
Originally Posted by mskitty38583 View Post
GOD CREATED CHILDREN (AND IN THE PROCESS GRANDCHILDREN)



To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, Grandchildren, ; Nieces, Nephews, Or students...



Here is something to make you chuckle.



Whenever your children are out of control, You can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.



After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve .



And the first thing he said was ' DON'T !'





'Don 't what ? ' Adam replied.



'Don't eat the forbidden fruit' God said

'Forbidden fruit ? We have forbidden fruit ?

Hey Eve .we have forbidden fruit ! '

' No Way ! '

'Yes way ! '



'Do NOT eat the fruit ! ' Said God.

'Why ? '

'Because I am your Father and I said so ! ' God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.



A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked !



'Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit ? ' God asked.

'Uh huh,' Adam replied.

'Then why did you ? ' Said the Father.

'I don't know,' said Eve

'She started it! ' Adam said.

'Did not ! '

'Did too ! '

'DID NOT ! '



Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.



Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.



If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you ?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT !



1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties Is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.



ADVICE FOR THE DAY:



Be nice to your kids.



They will choose your nursing home one day ;



AND FINALLY:





IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

'TAKE TWO ASPIRIN' AND 'KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN'!!!!!
So true! This is hilarious, and absolutely spot on. Thanks Sam
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Old 08-22-2008, 09:03 PM   #8 (permalink)
 
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Default Re: god has problems too......

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chironex View Post
So true! This is hilarious, and absolutely spot on. Thanks Sam
Too funny!!! I will have to show this to my daughter. She has a daughter now
and will relate to this. I put the mother's curse on her. You know, when you have a child I hope she is bad as you.
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