Dumb Jokes - Page 20

MediaHound · 12-06-2009, 11:08 PM

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MediaHound · 12-06-2009, 11:08 PM

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The Hollyberry Lady · 12-06-2009, 11:19 PM

and the news room goes quiet...

The Hollyberry Lady · 12-07-2009, 12:00 AM

: )

The Hollyberry Lady · 12-07-2009, 10:57 PM

A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes home early, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Unexpectedly, the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is already in there...

The little boy says, "Dark in here"
The man says, "Yes, it is"

Boy: "I have a baseball"
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it"?
Man: "No, thanks"
Boy: "My Dad's outside"
Man: "OK, how much"?
Boy: "$250"

Weeks later, it happens that the boy and the lover find themselves in the closet again...

Boy: "Dark in here"
Man: "Yes, it is"
Boy: "I have a baseball glove"

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "Alright, how much"?
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Sold"

A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside for a game of catch"...

The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove"
The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for"?
The boy says "$1,000"

The Dad says, "That's terrible to rip off your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession"

In church, the Dad makes sure the boy goes into the confessional and closes the door...

The boy says, "Dark in here"
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again - you're in my closet now"

The Hollyberry Lady · 12-08-2009, 12:04 PM

Too funny...

[YT]piPyfqAKf6o[/YT]

BananaLee · 12-09-2009, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Hollyberry Lady

The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again - you're in my closet now"

That's really offensive...

supermario · 12-09-2009, 02:33 PM

[yt]

buzzwinder · 12-09-2009, 02:59 PM

Classic Carlin! Thanks for posting that one!

supermario · 12-09-2009, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BananaLee

That's really offensive...

I strongly disagree. I thought the joke was very funny! There are much more offensive things on TV right now. They can be summed up as "reality TV".

Also, if you read some of the jokes in this thread, you will find several that poke fun at priests, nuns, blondes, etc etc. That is why this thread is called "Dumb jokes".

Another point I want to make.. A few years ago.. many priests and cardinals were guilty of the most offensive crimes ever! Child Molestation. If the joke were about Michael Jackson, would you be offended???

Comedy has always pushed the boundaries. The only time I don't like jokes is when they poke fun at the recently deceased. The reason being that no matter what wrong/silliness that person did in his/her life, that person has family that is grieving and who may come across that joke. I love south park, but hated when they poked fun of the crocodile hunter and MJ not even a week after they died. No matter what your religious beliefs, death is a serious matter. Now, I wouldn't push to have one removed or take the time to post that I am offended by it.

supermario · 12-09-2009, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buzzwinder

Classic Carlin! Thanks for posting that one!

One of my favorite comedians! He is one of those guys who always pushed the boundaries. May he RIP.

BananaLee · 12-09-2009, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by supermario

I strongly disagree. I thought the joke was very funny! There are much more offensive things on TV right now. They can be summed up as "reality TV".

Also, if you read some of the jokes in this thread, you will find several that poke fun at priests, nuns, blondes, etc etc. That is why this thread is called "Dumb jokes".

Another point I want to make.. A few years ago.. many priests and cardinals were guilty of the most offensive crimes ever! Child Molestation. If the joke were about Michael Jackson, would you be offended???

Comedy has always pushed the boundaries. The only time I don't like jokes is when they poke fun at the recently deceased. The reason being that no matter what wrong/silliness that person did in his/her life, that person has family that is grieving and who may come across that joke. I love south park, but hated when they poked fun of the crocodile hunter and MJ not even a week after they died. No matter what your religious beliefs, death is a serious matter. Now, I wouldn't push to have one removed or take the time to post that I am offended by it.

You don't have to agree, but when someone makes fun of your religion like that, it not funny. Yeah priest used to do some bad things like in the 16th century but this joke seems like a pretty modern joke to me. If you had a religion, then I don't think you'd be laughing. Of course death is a serious matter but joking about a dead person is just as rude as joking about someones religion. I know comedy goes a little beyond some boundaries, but you shouldn't go too far as to hurt someone.

Scuba_Dave · 12-09-2009, 06:37 PM

I think what the Catholic priests did RECENTLY (Molestation & higher ups MOVING them around to HIDE it) was FAR more offensive then any joke that I have ever heard

Jokes are jokes...take them as such
I'm really tired of the PC stuff where you can't say anything that might offend someone

The Hollyberry Lady · 12-09-2009, 07:08 PM

I certainly didn't mean any harm - I am Catholic, after all. Just a little humor - take it or leave it.

BananaLee · 12-09-2009, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scuba_Dave

I think what the Catholic priests did RECENTLY (Molestation & higher ups MOVING them around to HIDE it) was FAR more offensive then any joke that I have ever heard

Jokes are jokes...take them as such
I'm really tired of the PC stuff where you can't say anything that might offend someone

Sorry but rules are rules! And if you want to offended someone or talk trash about my religion, then go talk to the admin about it. Gosh! You people stop making fun about my religion, please!? If you had a religion, I wouldn't make fun of it! It's rude, this is suppose to be a friendly website, how about we keep it that way!

Scuba_Dave · 12-09-2009, 07:20 PM

YOUR religion ?
I think its more then your religion, its a lot of peoples
Its ANOTHER Catholic making the joke
ITS a JOKE
You have the option of not reading jokes or this thread

supermario · 12-09-2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BananaLee

Sorry but rules are rules! And if you want to offended someone or talk trash about my religion, then go talk to the admin about it. Gosh! You people stop making fun about my religion, please!? If you had a religion, I wouldn't make fun of it! It's rude, this is suppose to be a friendly website, how about we keep it that way!

Scuba Dave's initial comment was not poking fun at the catholic religion. He mentioned a fact and gave his opinion of it. My comments were not an attack on the catholic religion either, nor were they meant to harm you in any way. I just think you need to lighten up.

BananaLee · 12-09-2009, 07:49 PM

Sorry, I'm just very sensitive about my religion, all I said was that I found it offensive is all, it didn't have to go this far. Just understand that I'm very religious and I will defend it. Even if it is a joke, it's what strong Catholics do.

supermario · 12-09-2009, 07:52 PM

Blonde Selling Car

A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.

One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."

"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car."

"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car."

The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"

"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

12-06-2009, 06:25 PM	#381 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,298,376 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes

12-06-2009, 11:08 PM	#382 (permalink)
MediaHound Tally-Man MediaHound's Photo Gallery Location: Florida Find me on the map! Zone: 10 Name: Jarred Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 5,260 BananaBucks : 1,990,354 Feedback: 66 / 100% Said "Thanks" 3,855 Times Was Thanked 5,078 Times in 1,352 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 2,086 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes Anything inappropriate or against our rules will be deleted, please be aware of the guidelines of posting. Bananas.org Rules __________________ Apologies in advance if I am slow to reply to your PM. I suggest posting in the forums for support if you need something urgent.

12-06-2009, 11:08 PM	#383 (permalink)
MediaHound Tally-Man MediaHound's Photo Gallery Location: Florida Find me on the map! Zone: 10 Name: Jarred Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 5,260 BananaBucks : 1,990,354 Feedback: 66 / 100% Said "Thanks" 3,855 Times Was Thanked 5,078 Times in 1,352 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 2,086 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes 1. No content that is considered racist, sexist, obscene, objectionable, or otherwise offensive comments will be tolerated. All such posts or content will be deleted without notice. This includes avatars and uploaded photos. This could result in the loss of your membership. __________________ Apologies in advance if I am slow to reply to your PM. I suggest posting in the forums for support if you need something urgent.

12-06-2009, 11:19 PM	#384 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,298,376 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes and the news room goes quiet...

12-07-2009, 12:00 AM	#385 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,298,376 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes : )

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12-07-2009, 10:57 PM	#386 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,298,376 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes A wife takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes home early, sees them, and hides in the bedroom closet. Unexpectedly, the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is already in there... The little boy says, "Dark in here" The man says, "Yes, it is" Boy: "I have a baseball" Man: "That's nice" Boy: "Want to buy it"? Man: "No, thanks" Boy: "My Dad's outside" Man: "OK, how much"? Boy: "$250" Weeks later, it happens that the boy and the lover find themselves in the closet again... Boy: "Dark in here" Man: "Yes, it is" Boy: "I have a baseball glove" The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "Alright, how much"? Boy: "$750" Man: "Sold" A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside for a game of catch"... The boy says, "I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove" The Dad asks, "How much did you sell them for"? The boy says "$1,000" The Dad says, "That's terrible to rip off your friends like that...that is way more than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession" In church, the Dad makes sure the boy goes into the confessional and closes the door... The boy says, "Dark in here" The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again - you're in my closet now"

12-08-2009, 12:04 PM	#387 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,298,376 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes Too funny... [YT]piPyfqAKf6o[/YT]

12-09-2009, 02:59 PM	#390 (permalink)
buzzwinder buzzwinder's Photo Gallery Location: Loves Park, Il. Find me on the map! Zone: 5 Name: Bill Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 871 BananaBucks : 11,835 Feedback: 3 / 100% Said "Thanks" 1,043 Times Was Thanked 846 Times in 354 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 1,155 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes Classic Carlin! Thanks for posting that one! __________________ Bill for my friend

12-09-2009, 06:37 PM	#394 (permalink)
Scuba_Dave Location: South of Boston, MA Find me on the map! Zone: 6-7 Name: Dave Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 732 BananaBucks : 58,507 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 501 Times Was Thanked 1,218 Times in 451 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 2,414 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes I think what the Catholic priests did RECENTLY (Molestation & higher ups MOVING them around to HIDE it) was FAR more offensive then any joke that I have ever heard Jokes are jokes...take them as such I'm really tired of the PC stuff where you can't say anything that might offend someone __________________ .

12-09-2009, 07:08 PM	#395 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,298,376 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes I certainly didn't mean any harm - I am Catholic, after all. Just a little humor - take it or leave it.

12-09-2009, 07:20 PM	#397 (permalink)
Scuba_Dave Location: South of Boston, MA Find me on the map! Zone: 6-7 Name: Dave Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 732 BananaBucks : 58,507 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 501 Times Was Thanked 1,218 Times in 451 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 2,414 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes YOUR religion ? I think its more then your religion, its a lot of peoples Its ANOTHER Catholic making the joke ITS a JOKE You have the option of not reading jokes or this thread __________________ .

12-09-2009, 07:49 PM	#399 (permalink)
BananaLee BananaLee's Photo Gallery Location: St. Clair MI Find me on the map! Zone: 6 Name: Call me Lee Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 732 BananaBucks : 143,028 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 439 Times Was Thanked 229 Times in 104 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 22 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes Sorry, I'm just very sensitive about my religion, all I said was that I found it offensive is all, it didn't have to go this far. Just understand that I'm very religious and I will defend it. Even if it is a joke, it's what strong Catholics do.

12-09-2009, 07:52 PM	#400 (permalink)
supermario Banana brain supermario 's Photo Gallery Location: Miami, FL Find me on the map! Zone: 10A Name: Mario Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 298 BananaBucks : 59,795 Feedback: 0 / 0% Said "Thanks" 251 Times Was Thanked 348 Times in 139 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 4 Times	Re: Dumb Jokes Blonde Selling Car A blonde was trying to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it. One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal." "That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I can only sell the car." "Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then you shouldn't have a problem anymore trying to sell your car." The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?" "No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"

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