Re: Will this work/ am I crazy?
Nobody mentioned Sikkimensis. Basjoo should work (zone 6b here in Virginia). Single plants will not provide the total screen as said above, but they quickly form a mat and that becomes a total privacy screen (smaller pups have leaves further down, etc. so overall it becomes a dense screen.
By mid June is pushing things to say the least for in ground plants - we make 8 feet August, but may be a bit cooler here (and ours are way out in the open so no micro climate which you may have. But still very dubious. However if have some growing inside, thata could work, and for those in storage, if brought out early enough, thata would give a good head start (but need some room to get them going!)