Re: Will this work/ am I crazy?
Orinoco and Bassjoo might work. I don't think they will be 8ft by mid June, but close. Try not to cut the pstem to the ground and pour on the fertilizer when the first leaves appear.
As for the 2nd part of your question, you need to see a psychiatrist for that. OH ... Don't tell him you are a Banana farmer in the NY area! He will likely commit you on the spot. ...hahaha