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The Hollyberry Lady · 01-13-2012, 06:40 PM

It's importatant to note...

A bully is a person who:

•has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour

•wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world.

•abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying)

•is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others

•does not want to know of any other way of behaving

•is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving.

Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target.

Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfil the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed. This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia.

Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying.

Bullies are people who have not learned the lesson of consequences, ie that if they behave well there are good consequences (reward), but if they behave badly there are bad consequences (restriction, sanction, punishment, etc). Since childhood, bullies have learnt that they can avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through the instinctive response of denial, blame, and feigning victimhood.

Definition of narcissism...

Narcissism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder include, but are not limited to:

•Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation
•May take advantage of others to reach his or her own goal
•Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents
•Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance
•Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others
•Easily becomes jealous
•Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others
•Obsessed with oneself
•Mainly pursues selfish goals
•Trouble keeping healthy relationships
•Is easily hurt and rejected
•Sets unreal goals
•Wants "the best" of everything
•Appears as tough-minded or unemotional

Perhaps a mental illness thread is needed also...

: )

01-13-2012, 06:40 PM	#43 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,353,635 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Serial BULLIES & Internet TROLLS It's importatant to note... A bully is a person who: •has never learnt to accept responsibility for their behaviour •wants to enjoy the benefits of living in the adult world, but who is unable and unwilling to accept the responsibilities that are a prerequisite for being part of the adult world. •abdicates and denies responsibility for their behaviour and its consequences (abdication and denial are common features of bullying) •is unable and unwilling to recognise the effect of their behaviour on others •does not want to know of any other way of behaving •is unwilling to recognise that there could be better ways of behaving. Bullying is obsessive and compulsive; the serial bully has to have someone to bully and appears to be unable to survive without a current target. Despite the facade that such people put up, bullies have low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and thus feel insecure. Low self-esteem is a factor highlighted by all studies of bullying. Because such people are inadequate and unable to fulfil the duties and obligations of their position (but have no hesitation in accepting salary), they fear being revealed. This fear of exposure often borders on paranoia. Bullies are seething with resentment, bitterness, hatred and anger, and often have wide-ranging prejudices as a vehicle for dumping their anger onto others. Bullies are driven by jealousy and envy. Rejection (which cannot be assuaged) is another powerful motivator of bullying. Bullies are people who have not learned the lesson of consequences, ie that if they behave well there are good consequences (reward), but if they behave badly there are bad consequences (restriction, sanction, punishment, etc). Since childhood, bullies have learnt that they can avoid the unpleasant consequences of bad behaviour through the instinctive response of denial, blame, and feigning victimhood. Definition of narcissism... Narcissism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder include, but are not limited to: •Reacts to criticism with anger, shame, or humiliation •May take advantage of others to reach his or her own goal •Tends to exaggerate their own importance, achievements, and talents •Imagines unrealistic fantasies of success, beauty, power, intelligence, or romance •Requires constant attention and positive reinforcement from others •Easily becomes jealous •Lacks empathy and disregards the feelings of others •Obsessed with oneself •Mainly pursues selfish goals •Trouble keeping healthy relationships •Is easily hurt and rejected •Sets unreal goals •Wants "the best" of everything •Appears as tough-minded or unemotional Perhaps a mental illness thread is needed also... : )