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The Hollyberry Lady · 12-26-2011, 11:36 PM

Back to the topic I intended this thread for...

"Forums are scary places. I know they are a way that people can communicate based on common interests, but for newbies, they can be dangerous places. On a recent attempt to post details about an event we were holding, I had the sensation that I was an uninvited guest to a buzzing party. The reactions I got to my post were immediate and threatening, as if the long standing posters on the forum were marking their territory, peeing all around it, showing me their fangs from the sidelines, and telling me to back off.

It's funny how people behave as though they are in a different world online - a world where manners don't need to be upheld because people are anonymous. Without the addition of facial expression or tone of voice, so much can be hurtful and misunderstood. Why does this "freedom" to write and say whatever you want to say appear so different from communication in real life encounters? I have never felt such complete and utter disregard for the effort we are making, or the work we are putting in at face to face contact - only online have I felt such aggressive, negative language, so quick to put down, to judge.

There's a different set of rules for forum playgrounds, and the bullies are evident, some stacking up a whopping 6 months, 12 hours a day worth of posts (I calculated) - an embarrassing amount of their lives on these places - dishing out criticism as though their opinions represent those of the masses, their fear at a newcomer evident in their immediate derisive language.

With so many forums popping up all over the place, with little or no moderation evident, is it time to look at the ways we communicate, and why we feel that it's acceptable to spend so much of our lives speaking to one another in such an anti social manner? Or do we simply need to weed out the bullies on these forums and remind them that newcomers, like newcomers to a party, should not be immediately judged, stared at and whispered about, deemed different and an outsider, but welcomed, and introduced to everyone, with an open mind and a smile of recognition at how hard it can be to walk into a room full of strangers, online or in real life".

"Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone. Forum bullying or cyber bullying has become a widespread issue throughout the Internet. As a former moderator I've encountered it it's various guises many times. As one of the powers that be, it was difficult enough dealing with the usual spammers and trolls, but that was nothing compared to having to deal with already established members with high post counts and years of knowing each other in that forum.

The term 'regulars' has gained notoriety over the years on all kinds of forums. That's where the bullies are easier to spot. To an outsider or a lurker, it can be a bit intimidating submitting a post as a newbie. Not knowing all the ins and outs and who knows who, it can be a bit daunting. The TOS (terms of service) or forum rules usually only serve to favour the regulars and bullies if there is some flaming going on in a particular thread.

To give an example, I posted a complaint on the my3cents consumer site last April regarding issues that I had with my bank, Chase. After lurking on some of the forums on this site I knew which regulars gave out sound advice and which ones were there just to flame new posters. So in response to my post I got four comments, three of these were sanctimonious and opinionated. I posted back somewhat sarcastically with "Thanks for the pontificating, dogmatic, sage, etc. advice!" which resulted in 'full mod status' being put on my user account. This basically meant from then on my posts had to be reviewed by a panel of administrators before being published.

Anyway, being crippled by the powers that be, I could no longer fight back and watched as regulars were only civil to each and downright nasty to newbies. The unwritten rules were that the newcomers had to endure these nasty comments without reprisal. The bullies knew how to get around the censorship and avoided talking with you, or PMing you if you hadn't been 'broken in yet'. I also became aware a certain amount of favouritism displayed by administrators from the start. In any particular heated debate with a regular and a newbie, they would side with the regular and I noticed that they even let these people use various nicknames that surely must breach the guidelines. I can't publish these here for obvious reasons.

Well, I can deal with bullies on forums, trolls and the like a lot easier if I didn't have to worry about the forum administrators protecting them! That's the real issue here. I get tired of myself and others being dismissed as oversensitive or censored when we fight back against these bullies. So much for free speech!"

: )

12-26-2011, 11:36 PM	#11 (permalink)
The Hollyberry Lady The Hollyberry Lady 's Photo Gallery Find me on the map! Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 15,161 BananaBucks : 1,353,507 Feedback: 1 / 100% Said "Thanks" 12,042 Times Was Thanked 11,326 Times in 5,311 Posts Said "Welcome to Bananas" 102 Times	Re: Serial BULLIES & Internet TROLLS Back to the topic I intended this thread for... "Forums are scary places. I know they are a way that people can communicate based on common interests, but for newbies, they can be dangerous places. On a recent attempt to post details about an event we were holding, I had the sensation that I was an uninvited guest to a buzzing party. The reactions I got to my post were immediate and threatening, as if the long standing posters on the forum were marking their territory, peeing all around it, showing me their fangs from the sidelines, and telling me to back off. It's funny how people behave as though they are in a different world online - a world where manners don't need to be upheld because people are anonymous. Without the addition of facial expression or tone of voice, so much can be hurtful and misunderstood. Why does this "freedom" to write and say whatever you want to say appear so different from communication in real life encounters? I have never felt such complete and utter disregard for the effort we are making, or the work we are putting in at face to face contact - only online have I felt such aggressive, negative language, so quick to put down, to judge. There's a different set of rules for forum playgrounds, and the bullies are evident, some stacking up a whopping 6 months, 12 hours a day worth of posts (I calculated) - an embarrassing amount of their lives on these places - dishing out criticism as though their opinions represent those of the masses, their fear at a newcomer evident in their immediate derisive language. With so many forums popping up all over the place, with little or no moderation evident, is it time to look at the ways we communicate, and why we feel that it's acceptable to spend so much of our lives speaking to one another in such an anti social manner? Or do we simply need to weed out the bullies on these forums and remind them that newcomers, like newcomers to a party, should not be immediately judged, stared at and whispered about, deemed different and an outsider, but welcomed, and introduced to everyone, with an open mind and a smile of recognition at how hard it can be to walk into a room full of strangers, online or in real life". "Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumors or trying to make others reject someone. Forum bullying or cyber bullying has become a widespread issue throughout the Internet. As a former moderator I've encountered it it's various guises many times. As one of the powers that be, it was difficult enough dealing with the usual spammers and trolls, but that was nothing compared to having to deal with already established members with high post counts and years of knowing each other in that forum. The term 'regulars' has gained notoriety over the years on all kinds of forums. That's where the bullies are easier to spot. To an outsider or a lurker, it can be a bit intimidating submitting a post as a newbie. Not knowing all the ins and outs and who knows who, it can be a bit daunting. The TOS (terms of service) or forum rules usually only serve to favour the regulars and bullies if there is some flaming going on in a particular thread. To give an example, I posted a complaint on the my3cents consumer site last April regarding issues that I had with my bank, Chase. After lurking on some of the forums on this site I knew which regulars gave out sound advice and which ones were there just to flame new posters. So in response to my post I got four comments, three of these were sanctimonious and opinionated. I posted back somewhat sarcastically with "Thanks for the pontificating, dogmatic, sage, etc. advice!" which resulted in 'full mod status' being put on my user account. This basically meant from then on my posts had to be reviewed by a panel of administrators before being published. Anyway, being crippled by the powers that be, I could no longer fight back and watched as regulars were only civil to each and downright nasty to newbies. The unwritten rules were that the newcomers had to endure these nasty comments without reprisal. The bullies knew how to get around the censorship and avoided talking with you, or PMing you if you hadn't been 'broken in yet'. I also became aware a certain amount of favouritism displayed by administrators from the start. In any particular heated debate with a regular and a newbie, they would side with the regular and I noticed that they even let these people use various nicknames that surely must breach the guidelines. I can't publish these here for obvious reasons. Well, I can deal with bullies on forums, trolls and the like a lot easier if I didn't have to worry about the forum administrators protecting them! That's the real issue here. I get tired of myself and others being dismissed as oversensitive or censored when we fight back against these bullies. So much for free speech!" : )